Hi everyone and I hope that you have all recovered from the (potential) excesses of the Yule / Christmas / New Year period.
So I thought that I would start 2017 with a repost of something that I put on my old (long retired) coaching blog. The post is called "
What Are Emotions" and this may possibly resonate with my female friends although it does not only apply to women.
I had intended to revive the old blog post but sadly that was not "doable" so I decided it would be simpler to amend the old post and then maybe add all the coaching posts at some future point.
So here is the earlier article
What Are Emotions?
Emotions are a call to action!
It is often said that emotions can be
positive or negative.
Positive emotions help you to feel good
about yourself and your life, whereas, negative emotions have a tendency to
create doubts, worry, fear, discomfort etc.
We can sum up negative emotions in the
following way, “they are pointers to change” or
as a teacher of mine once said - Emotional Signposts
Here I would like to ask you a question
and I would like you to answer truthfully
How do you deal with your negative emotions at present?
Your answer will probably fall into one of
the following categories
a) avoidance
b) endurance or denial
c) competition
d) learn and utilise
After saying that I feel it necessary to
say something that I know a lot of people who are watching this video will find
difficult to believe -
“You ARE 100% responsible for your
reaction to your circumstances (your emotions!)”
Nothing at any time MAKES you feel
anything.
How you feel is the result of the meaning
that you attach to a situation, the logical conclusion to this is that there
are no such things as negative emotions. There are simply emotions - positive or
negative labels are simply down to your interpretation of the events that have
brought about the emotion .
So let us take a moment to try a short
exercise
I want you to imagine something specific
that you would like to own
Now I want you to spend a few moments
hoping that you will get it.
How does it feel?
How are you standing?
How are you breathing?
Now take a few moments being absolutely
certain that you are going get it (whatever it is) –
How does that feel?
How are you standing?
How are you breathing?
Now compare those two sets of feelings –
is the way you felt when you were hoping very much different from how you felt
when you were certain that it was going to happen?
I'll bet it is!
So now let us think about the process that
you went through – does the actual thing exist?
No! It does not exist right here and right now and
yet I know that the feelings in you were as genuine as if you were experiencing
this expectation for real.
This experiment has just proven that you
don't need the actual thing to make you feel the emotion and that you can
change your feelings and emotions at will. (from hope to certainty in an
instant)
Earlier we concluded that Negative
Emotions are pointers to change (Emotional Signposts).
For example the emotion of Fear = get
prepared, cope with or deal with.
6 steps to help you deal with these
emotions when they arise -
1 Identify the emotion
2 Appreciate the message (see below, The
Action Signals)
3 How can you use it
4 Feel reassured
5 See release as a tool of empowerment
6
Take action to improve the
situation
10 basic messages of change (The Action
Signals)
1 Uncomfortable – boredom, impatience
2 Fear – worry, apprehension
3 Hurt – loss
4
Anger – irritated, annoyed
5 Frustration – held back
6 Disappointment
7 Guilt – regret
8 Inadequacy – less than perfect
9 Overloaded – hopeless, depressed, more
than you can deal with
10 Loneliness
The Mastery Steps
The following steps are designed to help
you take control of your emotional situation
1 - Identify
the signal then
a)
change your state b) clarify what you want c) take action in that direction
Change
your perception or your procedure.
2 - Appreciate
the message
3 - Get Curious – how do you want to
feel. What would you need to believe to
feel this way
What would you
be willing to do to handle this emotion.
What can you learn from this.
4 - Get Confident – remember when you
have felt this before and got over it.
What did you do?
5 - Get
Certain – identify 3 or 4 ways of dealing with the emotion
6 - Get
Excited – Take MASSIVE Action. - Kill the monster while it is
little!!!
And finally ….....
Here are 10 emotions to cultivate seeds of
greatness, to make life work.
1 Love
and warmth
2 Appreciation
and Gratitude
3 Curiosity
(wonder)
4 Excitement
and Passion
5 Determination
6 Flexibility
7 Confidence
8 Cheerfulness
9 Health
10 Contribution
I hope that in some way the points raised
in this post on Emotions have helped you to understand that they are your
responsibility and belong to no-one else.
Remember – there is not one person alive
today who can make you feel anything (despite what you may believe) you are
responsible for EACH and EVERY feeling you experience.
If you have found this piece interesting I would love to get some feedback from you so please leave a comment in the box.
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So now in closing let me wish you the best
things that life can give -
Live a life of Power and Purpose and remember
Don't Predict the Future – CREATE IT!
DAve
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