Steps To Help You Become More Confident

(©2018 wytchwynd photography)

I often hear people saying things like “oh I wish I could be confident like you!  You can stand up in front of a room full of people and don’t show any nerves” – little do they know!

Building Self Confidence

Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash

Hello and welcome to "Building Self Confidence", the latest article from Under Blue Skies in this September Confidence Month

Your Ego versus Your Spirit

Hi and welcome and thank your for joining me Under Blue Skies.

For this week’s post I have turned my attention to comparing the Ego versus The Spirit.  What would one say against the view of the other?

HOW TO TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND

©2018 wytchwynd photography

Hello and welcome to another post from Under Blue Skies – Today. In keeping with the theme of the month we are going to look at how you can turn your life around.

Do Less / Do More

       

(photograph - ©2018 wytchwynd photography)

 

Recently I have been working towards creating a clearer and (slightly) more organised life for myself.  Doing that has meant a sizeable chunk of soul searching and looking at myself from the outside.  This post is about the results of one particular exercise that I carried out recently.

Some self care give-away tips.

Welcome to Under Blue Skies I hope that you are enjoying these posts and that you are taking something useful away with you after reading each one.

So this week I thought that I would give you a few tips that can be placed into your personal self care toolkit.  They are, for the most part, very simple common sense things.

30 Things To Help Clear Your Life

(Photography - ©2018 wytchwynd photography)

Thank you for joining me here at Under Blue Skies and today I would like to explore several ways that you can clear your life.

It is true that if you keep putting things off you run the risk of stagnating and this holds within it the potential to become a major problem.

A Different Look at Self Esteem

Self esteem is the relationship that you have with yourself, you might say it is the way that you talk to yourself behind closed doors, where no-one can hear you.

How do you talk to yourself?  Are you kind to yourself?  Do you talk to yourself respectfully?

So let us look a little more deeply at some of the rubbish that we allow ourselves to say internally.

Listen closely to how you talk to yourself.  Do you call yourself names or bury yourself in ‘should’ statements? There are many dysfunctional ways of thinking that we call all be caught by. It is important to avoid the most common thinking traps that I have listed below:-

Should, Must or Ought

You tell yourself how you “should”, “must”, or “ought” to feel and behave. However, this is NOT how you actually feel or behave. The result is that you are constantly anxious and disappointed with yourself and/or with others around you.

Imagining Catastrophic Situations

In this scenario we always imagine that the worst possible thing is about to happen, and predict that we will not be able to cope with the outcome. However, the imagined worst-case scenario usually never happens and even if it did, we are often able to cope with it.

Filtering

This is when we only pay attention to the bad things that happen and ignore all the good things we are filtering information. This prevents us from looking objectively at all the aspects of a situation and drawing a more balanced conclusion.

Over-estimating danger

This is when we believe that something which is unlikely to happen is actually right around the corner. It is easy to see how this type of thinking can maintain our anxiety. For example, how can you not feel scared if you think that you could have a heart attack any time?

Labelling

Sometimes we talk to ourselves in mean ways and use a single negative word to describe ourselves. This kind of thinking is both unhelpful and unfair. We are too complex to be summed up in a single word!

Over-generalization

This is when we use words like “always” or “never” to describe situations or events. This type of thinking is not helpful because it does not take all situations or events into account. For example, sometimes we make mistakes, but we don’t always make mistakes.

Mind-reading

Sometimes when we believe that we know what others are thinking we assume that they are thinking the worst of us. The truth is that no-one can read minds, so we do not really know what other people are thinking!

Black-and-white thinking

This happens when we only look at situations in terms of extremes. We assume that things are good or bad, a success or a failure. But, in reality, most events call for a more “moderate” explanation. For example:- cheating once on your diet does not mean you have failed completely. You had a small setback, and all you need to do is to get back on your diet tomorrow

Fortune-telling

I have personally got a number of clients to whom this type of thinking applies. This happens when we predict that things will turn out badly. But, in reality, we cannot predict the future!

Another way we can get ourselves into troubled waters is not challenging our thoughts.   You can do this quite simply by asking yourself “Would I say this to a friend of mine?” 

If the answer is absolutely not! Then why would you speak to yourself that way.

Some ideas you can use to help you raise your self esteem

Talk to yourself in the 3^rd person

Instead of saying “I can manage this situation” say “insert your name you can manage this situation.”

Remember this

Feeling hurt or upset does not mean that you are bad. Feeling uncomfortable does not imply that there is something wrong with you!

A feeling is simply that – it is a feeling

Please recognize that accepting and managing certain feelings can be difficult, especially when we don’t know how to do it.

Building our self-esteem by changing how we treat ourselves can be challenging.

So if you feel that the tips mentioned here are not enough to help you build your self esteem on your own, or you would like to see positive results faster, consider working with a specialist coach or counsellor.

ooo000ooo

About Dave   

As the founder of The Blue Sky Company I am dedicated to building a business that:-

“Inspires and Empowers people to create Lasting change”

I am a coach; speaker; radio presenter; therapist and co-owner of The Crystal Spring – a virtual light centre. 

My therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy and Reiki (qualified Master / Teacher).  In addition I am currently studying towards a Practitioner /Master’s qualification in Mindfulness.

If you would like to know more but would prefer a more confidential approach then please email to:-

underblueskies@zoho.com

It would be great to have you become a member of our Facebook page Under Blue Skies and you can do this by following this link:-

https://www.facebook.com/groups/48418371285/

If you have found this post interesting please spread the word about the blog to your friends and family and I look forward to welcoming them along as well.

LINKS to my other sites

Website:

www.moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/bluesky

Wytchwynd Photography

http://moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/photographyportfolio

Pinterest:

https://uk.pinterest.com/davethemerlin/the-blue-sky-company

To subscribe to this blog please go over to the right hand side of the page and click the button that says “Follow” and you will be added to our list of subscribers.

Please share this and my other posts with your friends and associates

Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.

And above all

Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!

DAve x

P.S.

The electronic version of my Under Blue Skies Workbook costs just £7.50 and is available to download.  A print version is also available at £13.99 + shipping.

Just follow these 3 simple steps to get your copy and begin to make serious changes in your life

1  Email me (including the shipping address for the print version)

2 Arrange a PayPal payment of £7.50 or £13.99 + £2 shipping

3 If the electronic version is required then please follow the download link I will send you .

For those of you who would like to get a feel for the sort of things the workbook contains I have devised something called the Mini Goal Pages

This is free to download pdf file that is a “no cost” supplement to the workbook.  To get your copy all you need to do is follow this link to download the file to your computer.  You can then print the current month’s page and begin working with it immediately.

DAve

Ways You Are Holding Yourself Back.

Welcome to Under Blue Skies and today I would like to explore several ways that you are holding yourself back.

There are a number of ways that you may be holding yourself back from living the best life you can and you don’t even realise it.  Life today is often about being a multi tasking, multi functional and infallible version of who you really can be.

Creating A Life Audit

Hi and thanks for joining me here on the Under Blue Skies blog.  This week I thought it might be of interest to everyone if I were to suggest a way that would enable you to carry out a Life Audit

The Glass Ceiling Effect

                                           

Please bear with me because this week I am re-running an older post dating from 2016.  There is a very good reason for this and when I find out what it is I will tell you…… no truthfully, time ran away with me because I had to drop everything and head off into The Cotswolds for work yesterday and did not get back until late.  So please enjoy this re-run of the Glass Ceiling Effect

How To Finish What You Start

©2018 wytchwynd photography

How often do you find yourself heading off on a new project with all guns blazing and full of great intent, only to find that a few days or weeks down the line you have suddenly been overtaken by a new interesting topic? 

You then switch your allegiance to this new one saying something along the lines of:-

“It won’t hurt if I just do “Y” for a few days – I can always go back and pick up “X”.  A few days won’t matter!”

Things To Avoid If You Want To Make A Good Impression

 

©2018 wytchwynd photography

Hi and welcome to the Under Blue Skies blog.  It is so hard to believe that we are over half way through June already. This week I decided that I wanted to write a post about body language. 

This is something that we all are involved in and if we are not careful we may say one thing but our body tell the other person something entirely different.

So here are are few things that you ought to try and avoid if you really want to make a good impression on someone

Feet Pointing Away

Did you know that your feet point to where you wish to go? Keep in mind whenever someone is focused on a conversation with another person, his or her feet point to them. However, if he or she is about to go for lunch then their feet will point towards the door. Pay attention to the message your feet send because they are so very noticeable.

Touching Your Face

This is probably the most surprising body language mistake on this list. You may feel placing hands on your face makes you look like you are carefully thinking of something or that this action makes you appear intelligent; whereas touching your face actually makes you look dishonest, mainly if your hand is touching your nose or mouth.

Self Soothing

A lot of people self-sooth in various ways. Some wrap their ankles or legs around table legs or chairs. Some keep their hands together, others on their thighs or fidget with their clothes. Though these actions make you feel relaxed in an uncomfortable situation, they make you look weak and anxious. If you happen to be uncomfortable in situations, try find out why and address it so that you can be more confident without self-soothing.

Not Mirroring

We often unconsciously mirror body language.  If either the head or the hands of the person you are listening are tilted to the right, you will probably do the same. It is something that happens unconsciously.

Leaning Back

This body language mistake shows that you are uninterested and day-dreamy. It is offensive at all times; and especially when you should be listening to someone speaking.   It makes you appear unconcerned about what they have to say to you.

Getting Too Close

We all have dissimilar boundaries when it comes to personal space. Keep in mind that not everyone has the same experience.  A brief crossing of the line into personal space is generally fine, but staying there more than two seconds could mean that you have lost a friend.

Not Smiling

Smiling automatically creates a connection with the person you are talking to. Have you ever heard the phrase, “smile and the whole world smiles with you?”  This is in fact true! The person listening to you mirrors your smile and promptly feels better about them selves in the process.

Fidgeting

This shows that you are uncomfortable having a conversation. It also suggests that you are planning how to act instead of being present. The best thing to do in this situation is to reduce the movements of your hands and feet, and take deep breaths.

Leaning Away From Others

Leaning away from others could be positive! It shows you are relaxed and unimposing but when done too much, it portrays that you both unapproachable and not interested in the conversation. Always lean in occasionally at points in the conversation to show interest.

Looking Down

People who look down a lot tend to give an indication of shame. This is not something that you want to portray; so avoid looking downwards for long periods of time. Aim to keep your chin up and to keep your head held high and proud.

Crossed Limbs

This may be a useful tool in the animal kingdom but crossing your arms during conversations appears to be somewhat unfriendly.

It is not a good look because you are visibly protecting your midriff area from alleged threats; you should open your arms as a greeting, and then, wherever possible, place them behind your back instead. Crossing your legs could also be interpreted as having the same meaning as well.

Clock Watching

This is very noticeable and it is similar to checking you phone. People want you to be present in their conversation and if you constantly look as if you want to be somewhere else, the chances are that they will not want to engage with you either.

Avoiding Eye Contact

Normally, when making conversations, humans play a game of eye contact tennis. Once you finish your part of the conversation, look into the other participant’s eyes for approval of what you said or to gauge what is next. Usually the other will agree to play the game by communicating their point of view.

A Weak Handshake

The issue with a weak handshake is that our reptilian brain tells us the other person cannot be trusted. If there is no firm grip it means they may hold a weapon in their loose hands. It is not a positive signal towards anyone, particularly potential clients!

Slouching

Slouching is one the most common body language errors. It is usually caused by working hunched over computer screens and this can ultimately, and very easily, become our default setting. It shouts of a lack of confidence even if you are on your A-game. Try pushing your chest and pulling back your shoulders.

Thank you for joining me on this post and I hope that you have found it interesting.  If it has sparked any ideas about what else you can do to reclaim your life please pop them into the comment box below and if I get enough I will repost them as a 2^nd list of things you can help you get back to you!

Best Wishes

Dave x

ooo000ooo

About Dave   

As the founder of The Blue Sky Company I am dedicated to building a business that:-

“Inspires and Empowers people to create Lasting change”

I am a coach; speaker; radio presenter; therapist and co-owner of a virtual light centre called The Crystal Spring. 

My therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy and Reiki (qualified Master / Teacher).  In addition I am currently studying towards a Practitioner /Master’s qualification in Mindfulness.

If you would like to know more and would prefer a more confidential approach then please send me an email, my email address is

underblueskies@zoho.com

It would be great to have you become a member of our Facebook page Under Blue Skies and you can do this by simply following this link:-

https://www.facebook.com/groups/48418371285/

If you have found this post interesting please spread the word about the blog to your friends and family and I look forward to welcoming them along as well.

LINKS to my other online sites

Website:

www.moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/bluesky

Wytchwynd Photography

http://moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/photographyportfolio

Pinterest:

https://uk.pinterest.com/davethemerlin/the-blue-sky-company

To subscribe to this blog please go over to the right hand side of the page and click the button that says “Follow” and you will be added to our list of subscribers.

Please share this and my other posts with your friends and associates

Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.

And above all

Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!

DAve x

ooo000ooo

P.S.

The Under Blue Skies Workbook costs just £7.50 and is now available to download. 

Just follow these 3 simple steps (they are as easy as EAF) to get your copy and begin to change your life

1  Email me  

2 Arrange a PayPal payment of £7.50

3 Follow the download link I will send you

**********

For those of you who would like a no commitment trial of the sort of things the workbook contains I have devised something called the Mini Goal Pages

This is available at no cost to you whatsoever – all you need to do is follow this link and you can download it to your computer, then print the current month’s page and begin working with it immediately.

This quote has been left by Nicholas - the first person to take up the offer

"Thanks Dave, that is super. Really useful invention!"

All the best, see you soon,

Nick

Have a truly fantastic day and remember 

Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!

DAve x

10 Things That You Have To Give Up To Move Forwards

Hi and welcome to the Under Blue Skies blog on this beautiful June morning here in North Devon. 

Are You Having Problems With Difficult People At Work?

When you consider the amount of time we spend in other people’s company at work is it really surprising that we run into some difficult situations?  Now there is a school of thought that these situations are sometimes (in fact quite often) a reflection of something that is going on in our world.  

The Qualities We Admire In Other People…….

Do you often find yourself watching other people and thinking I wish I could be like him or her, he (or she) is so good at ………………… (fill in the blank)?

Well in all honesty the answer is that you already are!

The April Review

Dave takes a wander through some of the highlights of April

The April Review from UB Skies on Vimeo.

To contact Dave please send an email to underblueskies@zoho.com

To order a copy of the new workbook (£9.50 including delivery) Payment can be made using PayPal but first please send an email to underblueskies@zoho.com

Have a great day and remember

Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!

DAve xx

24 Life Lessons

Hi and welcome to Under Blue Skies.  I hope that your week is going according to plan and that you are managing to do most, if not all, of the things that you need to do to stay ahead of the game.

I always try to publish posts that are relevant and in keeping with my work within the realms of Personal Development

10 Steps Towards Creating A Better Impression

I always aim to publish posts that are relevant and in keeping with my work in the realms of Personal Development. So let me ask you a question.

Are you managing to do most, if not all, of the things that you need to do to stay ahead of the game?

Habits To Help Transform Your Day

(©2018 wytchwynd photography)

Hi and welcome to the Under Blue Skies blog page.  

I hope that your week is going according to plan and that you are managing to do most, if not all, of the things that you need to do.