Hi and welcome to Altered Image Coaching.
Today I thought that I would talk about some of the pitfalls of friendships!
The first thing (Point 1) I would like to say on the subject is this:-
"If you become the caring heart of your family and friends you may feel that the role provides you with a purpose, but the truth is that it can leave you in a state of total exhaustion"
You may ask why this should be?
The answer to that question is actually very simple:- you continually give without receiving anything in return.
Some friends may be "vampires" you know the sort I mean - they are the ones who take and never give back anything in return. However, because of your nature you regularly find it hard to say "no!" which results in you finding yourself feeling low and believing that you have been used!
Next (Point 2) I would say that it is possible you will find yourself heading towards self sabotage - do you find yourself suffering from "burn out"?
You are probably a person who works and plays hard and you believe that you should just "get on with it" - most definitely a direct route to self sabotage.
Sometimes you might have an important meeting scheduled and you are still in the bar during the wee small hours. Why do you expect to get by on four or five hours sleep or accept more work when you are already fully stretched?
You are putting both your physical and mental health at risk, this can result in you feeling unfit, having poor concentration, low energy levels and the like but you simply cannot stop yourself!
Now be honest, note your activity on a planner, then take a good look and decide if what you are doing is taking you nearer to or further away from your best life!
The next (Point 3) thing I would like to talk about is "worry"
Your active mind comes with a Dark Side - you tend to overthink and that results in you getting into a never-ending spiral of "worst case / what if" scenarios. You may try to justify this by saying that you are prepared......but in fact you are unsettled by uncertainty and that gives you a feeling of self control.
Your belief is that if you expect the worst and it does not happen that is a bonus - but over time this situation drains you well - being, you feel tired, fed up of being stressed but it is hard to change.
Protect yourself by having "worry time" (a 15 minute window is good) and surprisingly when you schedule this time and sit down to worry the thing seems smaller, you have broken its hold over you!
Point 4 - is Conscientiousness:-
You are someone who is valued at work and you are often singled out as the "go to" person to get things done. You thrive on personal growth and reaching your goals. You often set the bar high but what really happens in that you spend so much time on the small stuff you have no energy left for the bigger things. You feel that letting people down an an absolute "NO!"
You feel that "good enough" is ok for other people but never for you.
To protect yourself from burn-out step out of your routine every so often. Too much routine drains you - begin a hobby that is fun to do and does not focus on achievement!
Carry our a friends audit!
Score each friend from 1 to 10 based on how much energy you have when you are in their company. 1 = flat and 10 = vibrant.
Once you have your results, make a conscious choice to spend the most time with friends who score 5 or above!
So this practically brings me to the end of this post, I hope that you have found the piece interesting and useful. If you would like to talk about any of the points mentioned please feel free to drop an email to email@example.com or give me a call on 07731 510040
Thank you for being here, I hope that you have found this post both interesting and useful and if you have any questions about this post or about my coaching service then please drop me an email.
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I hold qualifications in each of the following disciplines:-
Life Coaching (Honours Diploma)
Music Therapy (Diploma)
Crystal Therapy (Practioner)
In addition to the above I am compiling a series of short videos that will provide an
Introduction To Mindfulness
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