Wednesday 21 February 2018

Emotional Self Awareness



If you cannot recognize your feelings, you will never be able to control them properly, and surprisingly enough, this lack of recognition will affect your demeanour and this will almost certainly affect your disposition—and your output—at work.


If you were to ask Paul, who is a director of a high-end trade supply business, whether his emotions had an impact on his work, he would most probably laugh at the suggestion.

It is very likely that he would say that what matters is the fact that he can turn a client’s vision for production into a design that is both practical and aesthetically pleasing.  He would most likely say that has feelings have little or nothing to do with anything like that.

However, if you were to ask Paul’s employees and co-workers you would most likely hear a very different story. They would tell you that his work with the clients and the relationship with his co-workers is very inconsistent.

If he comes to work in a good mood everything goes well. But when he becomes angry or frustrated, his interactions most definitely suffer.

He does not listen well and often shows contempt for the client’s suggestions. Often this leads to mistakes in design interpretation and because he did not accurately incorporate their wishes in the first instance, things “on the job” have to change.  It has got to the point where his fellow staff members do their best to  avoid him when he is in a bad mood.

Paul’s failure to identify his feelings and how they influence his behaviour and this then affects his work performance. What Paul lacks is emotional self-awareness!

What is Emotional Self-Awareness?

Emotional self-awareness (ESA) is being able to recognize and understand your emotions and how they affect your behaviour.

When you are Emotionially Self Aware you know how you feel and why you feel that way. And, you can see how your feelings can help or negatively affect what you do.   You have a much more accurate and tuned sense of how other people see you.

Emotional self-awareness focuses on your feeligs.

Paul is far from a position of emotional self-awareness at present  but it is something that he could develop over a relatively short period of time.

Emotional intelligence also includes skills in managing your emotions, awareness of others, and managing relationships.

Why Does Emotional Self-Awareness Matter?

Paul is in a situation that shows that without being able to recognize his feelings, he is unable to control them.  The lack of this awareness stands in the way of sensing the emotions of others people, of empathy.

It is  hard to maintain a positive outlook or influence others if you don’t know how you feel, a high level of skill with Emotional Self-Awareness  predicts your overall success at work.

Recent research indicates that around 92% of leaders who are skilled in Emotional Self-Awareness have high energy and high performance teams, and leaders with low self-awareness create  negative climates at work.

How You Can Develop Emotional Self-Awareness

Recognizing your feelings and their influence on how you act and behave is a skill that you can develop just like you can build and improve your swimming or tennis techniques.  
Noticing and paying attention to your feelings is not something that you do once and then it stays with you forever. It is something that is developed over time, it takes attention and practice, and then ongoing daily attention to maintain.  In this respect it is just like mindfulness!

A key tool for building self-awareness is tuning in to your body. Notice how your heart behaves:-

When you are either terrified or furious, your heart pounds at a much faster rate than when you are calm. You may break out in a light sweat or breathe more rapidly, or your shoulder muscles may tighten.

Paying attention to these bodily reactions when they occur will allow you to take the steps necessary to bring the situation back under control.

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About Dave   I am a coach; speaker; radio presenter and founder of The Blue Sky Company.  I am also a therapist and co-owner of a virtual light centre called The Crystal Spring.  My therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy and I recently qualified as a Reiki Master / Teacher and I am currently studying a Colour Therapy course,

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