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| Photo by sydney Rae on Unsplash |
Hello and welcome to "Building Self Confidence", the latest article from
Under Blue Skies in this September Confidence Month
Practice
Confident Body Language
Your
body language represents what is going on inside you.
Medical
Research shows that having confident body language actually lowers levels of
the stress hormone and makes you feel much more confident.
By
changing your posture you can change your thoughts and feelings about yourself.
Practice
standing and sitting up straight.
Physical
activity such as yoga will also help your posture.
Pay
attention to your body language when you are feeling insecure.
Take
notice if you do any of the following
Try
to make yourself appear smaller?
Avoid
eye contact?
Are
your movements more nervous and shaky?
If
you take time to improve your body language it can dramatically help your
self-confidence.
Develop A More Confident
Voice
Your
voice reflects your self-esteem just as much as your body language does.
If
you are afraid of disturbing other people or you feel too shy to assert
yourself, you will probably speak with a quiet voice.
Try
saying, “Excuse me,” to strangers as you are trying to walk past them, do they
hear you?
Numerous
studies show that the volume OF, and confidence in, your voice determines how people
react to it.
There
is an interesting tale of a man who drew a square on the ground and stood next
to it. When he quietly told people, “please don't step on my box,” most people
still walked right through it. But when he yelled assertively, “don't step on
my box!” everyone nearby quickly avoided his territory.
However,
you really do not have to shout for people to pay attention to you, but you can
make an effort to speak more loudly so people are more likely to listen to you.
Pay
attention to when the volume of your voice decreases. You may find that is you are afraid of being
judged or rejected. Make an effort to speak more audibly in these situations.
Speaking with a higher volume makes people sound far more confident.
Step Out Of Your Comfort
Zone
Your
comfort zone encompasses all the activities you are comfortable doing.
When
you develop daily routines, you may not even realize how small your comfort
zone actually is, because you never have to step out of it!
When
a new activity causes you discomfort, ask yourself whether the situation is
actually harmless or are you exaggerating the consequences of a non-existent
embarrassment.
Every
time you want to start a conversation with someone but instead you turn and
head off in the opposite direction, you are training yourself to be afraid.
These
are crucial moments where you must decide to either develop a habit of
self-defeat or self-confidence.
Focus on Your Successes
Write
down your 10 biggest successes in life, take the time to appreciate everything that
you have accomplished.
Your
list could possibly include overcoming a fear, graduating from university,
taking a class in something you were interested in, or winning a competition or
event that was important to you.
The
successes may even include things that are much more personal and about
emotional experiences that you have endured.
Paying
more attention to the things you have accomplished, it helps you build your
confidence because it builds a higher level of belief in yourself.
However
there are people who always focus on their embarrassments and failures and that
can often make them feel less confident.
On the other hand, failures provide excellent opportunities for learning
and growth, they do not need to hurt your confidence, unless you allow them to.
Incorporating
the following powerful habits can help you take huge steps towards improving
your self-confidence.
1
Adjust your body language and the volume of your voice to help you feel more
confident in social situations.
2.
Taking a step outside your comfort zone and focusing on your successes in life
will help you improve your confidence because it will show you how much you are
actually capable of accomplishing.
We
all know those people who stride into a room, and when they do everyone turns
towards them because they exude a mix of
both
easy-going
charm and authority.
Self confident
people are admired by others
because everybody would like to be the person who makes everyone else feel like
they have got it covered?
Self confidence is a skill anyone can build and by following the six
tips here you can begin that journey and work towards becoming the confident
person that everyone else wants to be.
‘Fake’ it until you make
it
Start
by imagining yourself as a confident person, think about what that person is
doing or saying, and start doing those things.
It
might feel odd and uncomfortable when you start, but if you wear a smile or
consistently adopt confident body language, these positive changes will become
part of your regular repertoire.
Ultimately
you will begin to feel more self assured and that will start affecting practically
everything you do.
If
you don’t believe in yourself, how do you expect anybody else to?
Highlight the positive
There
is a well used saying that is so very true!
‘You
are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with’?
The
people that you see the most cannot help influencing you – their thoughts,
opinions, feelings and actions.
We
often find ourselves among groups of people where there are strong overlaps in
values and lifestyles.
Become
aware that we consciously choose who we spend time with, therefore by changing
the people you are around you can make advantageous changes in our life.
If
someone in your life is continuously downbeat, or not giving you the support
you need, consider spending less time with them, and spend more time looking to
bring more positivity into your life.
Change your body
language, speech and your image
If
you imagine a person with good posture and a smile you will almost always be
thinking of someone who is naturally happy and self-confident.
The
power that body language, image and speech has towards creating a positive
contribution to your well-being should never be under estimated.
Pulling
your shoulders back portrays poise and smiling is scientifically proven to make
you feel better.
If
you maintain eye contact with the person you are talking to – they will feel
that you are really listening to them.
Always try to speak more slowly – the person you are talking to will
have more time to process what you are saying.
A
little bit of grooming can make others perceive you as confident and successful
– co-ordinate your clothes, shave, wash your hair, wear your favourite shoes.
Control the unhelpful voices
in your head
Low
self-confidence is often caused by the negative thoughts running through our
minds on a continuous loop and these “voices” are often made up of all the
things we have been told by other people throughout our lives, sometimes starting
from a very early age.
They
are powerful because they have been with us for a long time. However, just because we are used to hearing them
we do not need to have them control our
present.
Negative
voices are only one element of the many thoughts going on in our head, so the next
time you hear them, say to yourself, ‘thank you for contributing’, and then go back to taking those simple,
positive steps in your life.
Be prepared, turn up and
always present your best self
“80% of success in life is turning up”.
Just
by turning up for opportunities in life you give yourself a much better chance
of taking them than you would if you stayed in your comfort zone.
Try
to learn everything that you can about your area of interest, your job or that
presentation you are giving and make a commitment to “put yourself out there”.
If
you do all of these things, your confidence will soar and, in time, you will
create a wonderful circle of success for yourself.
Chart your progress to
view positive changes in your life, and build momentum
Life
is full of challenges and sometimes these “bumps in the road” can appear to be
roadblocks to our success.
However,
writing down our small accomplishments and charting the progress we have made can
lead us into the habit of seeing how our victories can take on a
momentum of their own.
Record
those victories where you can see them, such as on the wall by your desk, or on
your bathroom mirror – anywhere you can so that they continue to remind you
that you are making progress.
Every
one of us can feel a little down sometimes, so having a record of your
successes close at hand can provide a welcome boost to your self confidence
when you most need it.
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About Me
As the
founder of The Blue Sky Company I am dedicated to building a business that:-
“Inspires
and Empowers people to create Lasting change”
I am a Personal
Development coach; speaker; radio presenter; therapist and co-owner of a
virtual light centre called The Crystal
Spring and my therapy work includes music therapy;
crystal therapy and Reiki (qualified Master / Teacher).
If you would like to know more then please email me
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Have a fantastic day, live
a life of Passion and Power.
And above all
Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!
DAve x
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