The other day while I was preparing this post I started
watching a video by a Buddhist Monk (Ajahn Brahm) This man is English by birth and now lives in
Australia, he is a teacher by profession, has had girlfriends and he has an
amazing “take on life”
Anway, in the video I was watching he was talking about the
skewed view we have of ourselves and how it does not take much effort to
believe that we are not like other people.
We may say others are beautiful; others have lots of “stuff”; others
have plenty of friends; people want to be round them and so on and so forth.
People often have a negative self image and if they are
totally honest can often admit to thinking:-
I AM FLAWED!!!
This is a misconception!!!!
So now let me ask you a few things…..
I need you to think very carefully and if you can remember
ever saying?
“I don’t like my nose,
it is too big, people always laugh at me because of it, I feel depressed
because of it” if you can then stand by……..
Can you remember saying something like
“I’m too fat and boys
won’t like me because of that!” if you can then stand by…….
Or have you ever said
“Nobody likes me
because I am damaged goods” if you have then stand by……..
If you have answered these questions with a “yes” then I
have a surprise for you and everyone else who has asked similar questions of
themselves and got similar answers….
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!
Do you think you are flawed, misshapen, a reject?
So many people look upon what they term as physical imperfections
as being catastrophic twists of fate and they believe that their life will be
less than perfect because of these things.
However, I would like to suggest that you undertake a small
and simple task that will, if embarked upon in the spirit of this writing,
change you perception of your self for ever.
So here is another question for you
Are you prepared to give this task a go – after all what
have you got to lose?
If I am correct in my thinking you will go a long way to
losing a self image that is misleading you, that has given you a false
impression and a somewhat skewed view of yourself.
So what is the task?
I would like you to take a walk in a place where there are a
number of naturally growing trees. The
emphasis here is that the trees must be growing naturally. The place could be a
park, a wood or a forest but not a botanical garden or the like! As you are walking I would like you to seek
out and identify “The Perfect Tree”
It must stand ramrod straight, it must not lean to the left
or the right, nor forwards or back. The
trunk must be a perfect circle and must taper at just the correct angle
It must have perfectly formed and equally spaced
branches. Each of the branches must
contain the correct number of leaves, perfectly formed and perfectly spaced.
I would not mind betting that having read the previous two
paragraphs you are saying something like “he is talking out of his backside” or
“that is just impossible, everyone knows
that you would never ever find a tree like that!”
So yes that is a bit of a challenge and it is doubtful that
you would ever find “The Perfect Tree” so if that is the case
why do people constantly complain that their bodies are not perfect.
So many of our fellow human beings are continually striving
to be as “The Perfect Tree” without realising that it does
not exist! There are huge numbers of people who put themselves under a
surgeon’s knife, in an attempt to achieve this desired state of perfection, and
yet they know that their reward could be a mutilated body; a face twisted out
of shape; breasts that become lumpy and misshapen. How many have known of, or been acquainted
with, a lady who has suffered the effects of Botox being injected into her
face. It does not take much thought to
see that the chase for perfection or enhancement can go horribly wrong!
Consider this example - a lady believes herself to be
overweight and is often heard complaining that she has “thunder thighs” or that
she is fat. This person has spent many
hundreds of pounds going to training, slimming clubs, gyms and so on in an
attempt to reach her vision of perfection and yet it has always eluded
her! She has even considered buying
“slimming medication” online and said that if that failed she was considering undergoing
“gastric band” surgery.
It appears that she is constructing her reality in such a
way that she has major issues with self esteem and therefore seeks to build her
confidence by way of external factors and punishing training schedules. She has also major issues with labelling and
refuses to accept that inside there is a beautiful woman struggling to get out.
I believe that she has yet to learn from her successes,
because she is so fixated on her failures.
As Ajahn Brahm says “you
learn from success, not from failure” thus I believe that it would be entirely
possible for her to turn her thinking around and instead of viewing a weight
loss of 1.5 lbs as a failure, I would suggest that she looks at that as a big
success. I would then suggest that she
looks closely at what she did and begin to replicate the same behaviour over
the next and subsequent weeks. I am
fairly certain that she would see results over time, keep or probably improve
her health, have increased levels of energy and not spent thousands of pounds
of her hard earned money.
If this has made you think about how you
act, or if it has prompted any questions, then please feel free to add them as
a comment in the box below or to email me:- thedavebaxter@mail.com
About Dave I am a
coach; speaker; radio presenter and founder of The Blue Sky Company. I am
also a therapist and co-own a virtual light centre called The Crystal Spring. My
therapy work includes music therapy; reiki; crystal therapy
LINKS
Website at www.moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/bluesky
Have a fantastic day and live a life of Passion and Power.
And above all
Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!
DAve x
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