Welcome
to Under Blue Skies I hope that you are enjoying these posts and that you are
taking something useful away with you after reading each one.
So
this week I thought that I would give you a few tips that can be placed into
your personal self care toolkit. They
are, for the most part, very simple common sense things.
1. Actually write down your
thoughts.
It
is extremely useful to write down your thoughts regularly – there is a school
of thought that says if you write down your thoughts every morning it is like
“brain dumping” and clears your mind ready for the day ahead.
There
is no need to write anything in-depth or over long, just spend about five
minutes a day to writing down your thoughts, feelings, or ideas. This can be
especially helpful if you want to keep track of changes in your moods or
behaviour over time.
However,
it can also just be a place to work through something in a private,
non-judgmental space, the sort of things that you might not feel comfortable
talking about at the time.
2. Can you put a
positive spin on it?
Stressful
situations happen, whether you are overworked or overbooked or both.
But
you can take those moments of total overwhelm and look for the good in them!
If
you are stressed because you are up against an urgent and important work
deadline, think about how that stress is actually helping to push you to get it
done.
“The
sensation of pressure does not always have to be negative—it can be a positive,
challenge and motivating sensation.”
Or,
if you don't have a free weekend during the next two months, consider how it's great
that you have a rich social life! It is
often the way that you view things that can change their meaning.
However,
if you are chronically stressed and there really is not an upside, you can see
this as a timely warning that you need to find ways to slow down before you
experience total burn out.
3. Take time for daily,
low-key walks (and actually do them).
There
are times when you need to step away from what you are doing or dealing with
and get out into the fresh air. Taking regular exercise is important for mental
health, but even just having regular, relaxing walks can be soothing for your
mind. As an added bonus such a walk
might force you to take a breather when you need one.
Walking
and connecting with life is usually healing, just as much as the rhythmic
nature of walking brings you back into natural rhythm.
Walking
can help get you out of your head and into the world!
Taking
a walk when you first get up or after dinner can help relax the mind (and aid
digestion)! You could also try to allow
20 minutes walking time in your work calendar to help bring you back into
calmness and balance.
4. Challenge negative
thoughts with positive ones.
Negative
thoughts are a part of life, but they do not have to consume you
completely.
Instead
of trying to ignore those thoughts altogether, try countering them with
positive statements. For example, if you
feel anxious and regretful about staying in bed until lunchtime one day, follow
that with a reminder that you really needed some extra rest and alone time this
week. Know that you can always get back
out there tomorrow!
5. Who are your people?
These
are the people you know who you can always call, text, or email when you need to
feel a connection.
“By
building a list of people that you trust, that you can talk to in times of
need, you allow yourself to experience a strong sense of not being alone.”
So
the next time you are struggling with life, check your list and reach out to
someone on it. Then, if someone you love isn’t free to talk, carry on down the
list until you find someone that is!
6. If you are in a
negative thought spiral write down two good things.
It's
hard to think of anything else when you’re really upset or frazzled, so this
exercise is mostly about hitting pause and broadening your focus.
Just
think of two or three positive things in your life in this moment—something
that brings you joy, something you're proud of, someone who loves you.
This
can help ease your feelings of angst and frustration. Dr. Alicia H. Clark, Psy.D says. “Gratitude is something I work with
people to cultivate especially when life feels overwhelming and negative,” she
adds. Even being thankful for a hot shower can help you reset.
7. Have a self-care
practice
We
all have certain things or coping mechanisms that give us a boost when we are
feeling rubbish but it is possible that you might not even realize what yours
are!
Maybe
you have a long bath, maybe you sit watching your favourite YouTube clip, or it
might talking to your favourite cuddly toy -
whatever it is make sure that it is accessible when you really need it.
8. Converse
with your inner voice.
Everyone
has an inner voice, (how you talk to yourself in your head or out loud), sometimes
that voice can be cruel, even though it is ultimately dictated by you.
It
might tell you that you are a failure or work to convince you to stress about
something over which you have absolutely no control.
Many
people live with a loud inner critic that makes their life more stressful, but
learning to have a reassuring and soothing inner voice instead, can make a big
difference in improving your mental health.
Now
in case you are saying “that's easier said than done” here is a good place to
start:
When
your inner voice is giving you really horrible feedback and advice, just stop for
a moment and consider how you would talk to your best friend in this situation
and then try to adjust your inner voice to talk like that.
It
is unlikely that you would tell your friend that he or she is doing everything
wrong and that everyone hates him or her. You might say that they are over
reacting, that there is no reason to think these things, and to focus on what
can actually be controlled in the situation.
9. If you are struggling
with an anxious thought just ask yourself “and then what?”
Continually
thinking about something that is making you anxious is not going to achieve
anything! However, you can help push
your thought process forward by forcing yourself to think ahead, Dr. Clark
says. “This helps elucidate thoughts that are reasonable, probable, or sometimes
even rational.”
For
example, if you keep worrying that you are going to lose your job, ask yourself
what would happen if that did happen. The answer might seem terrifying at first
(you would be short of money, you could lose your home, there could be
implications for your relationship, etc.)
Then
simply follow those thoughts along the lines of —what would happen next?
You
would probably look for a new job, seek out a cheaper house or flat, take out a
loan.
Eventually
your thoughts should land upon reasonable solutions to your biggest worries and
you may even
realize that these scenarios—while certainly making you feel anxious — are
highly unlikely to come to be.
10. Can you modify your
alcohol habits and drink a little less?
Your
alcohol intake does not just impact your physical health—it also has an affect
on your mind. Therefore it is important
to consider your drinking habits when you are aiming to improve your mental health, says Dr.
Clarke.
If
you find that you are regularly drinking more when you feel depressed or
anxious, or that you end up feeling worse
whenever you do have a drink.
Try
cutting back on how much you have and how often you have it. Keeping a log of your drinking and your
emotions before and after might prove helpful.
11. Create a bedtime
ritual.
Good
quality sleep is a crucial part of your mental health, but it can be especially
hard to come by when you are struggling with anxious or depressed thoughts. Therefore
it is best to do everything that you can to try to quieten your thoughts before
you get into bed.
Since it
is most unlikely that you will solve anything overnight, Dr. Clark recommends
pressing pause on your thoughts and trying to get a good night’s sleep before
diving back into things the following day.
That might
include writing down anything you are worried about so that you can get back to
it tomorrow—and stop thinking about it now.
There are
a number of winding-down activities that will not work against you (the way
staring at your phone or Netflix might), like colouring, journaling, or reading
(as long as you set a stopping point in advance).
These are a few small
but extremely useful things that you can do to improve your mental health every
day.
ooo000ooo
About Dave
As the
founder of The Blue Sky Company I am dedicated to building a business that:-
“Inspires
and Empowers people to create Lasting change”
I am a Personal
Development coach; speaker; radio presenter; therapist and co-owner of a
virtual light centre called The Crystal
Spring and my therapy work includes music therapy;
crystal therapy and Reiki (qualified Master / Teacher).
If you would like to know more and would prefer a more
confidential approach then please email
me
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Have a fantastic day, live
a life of Passion and Power.
And above all
Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!
DAve x
P.S.
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