I will begin this piece with a confession!
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| (Image ©2017 wytchwynd photography) |
There have been points in my
life where I really did not like myself.
It has not always been a happy road that I travelled, but all that
started to change
during the early part of the 2000s.
This was the time when I
first discovered coaching and began to realise that life didn’t HAPPEN TO ME, I
happened upon life and made some pretty crap decisions and rubbish choices.
Up to that point there were
times when I would look in the mirror and totally hate the person I saw looking
back at me, I had made some pretty terrible decisions, I was, to a large
extent, my own worst enemy. I was really
jealous of other people’s “good fortune” and thought “they’ve got it made, why
the hell haven’t I got what they have?”
During that very first
course I heard something that helped me begin to make sense of things and gave
me some of the tools that I could use to begin the journey of change.
The phrases I heard were
“our thoughts create our feelings” and “what we think about we become”
I took these phrases “on
board” and they became two of the most important cornerstones for the building
of the “new me”. I began to work under
those guidelines and over the coming months and years things really changed, my
marriage got stronger and more loving, friends noticed that I had mellowed,
opportunities presented themselves on a regular basis and I grabbed a lot of
them and began to run with whatever came about.
However, that does not end
with me skipping off into the sunset!
Yes! Life was good, it had definitely changed for the better, but there
was still something that was not quite right.
And then I read something
that helped me to see this…….. It was suggested in the article that I (and many
people like me) might still be thinking “Violent Thoughts” towards ourselves
and that these thoughts were likely to be holding us back from achieving our
dreams.
My initial reaction was to
ask the question “Violent thoughts?”
And so from researching this
question it turns out that sometimes doubting our ability or skill can have the
effect of stopping us from making progress and this is what is meant by
“Violent Thoughts”
So I was minded to think of
Henry Ford’s famous statement
“Whether you think you can,
or you think you can’t. You are correct”
It has been suggested that
our belief in our ability to succeed can be attributed to past achievements and
the support of people who believe in us and the encouragement of seeing the
success of someone else who is working in a similar way to the one we are.
But truth be told these are
not the only building blocks we need, there is one more very important one and
that is our emotional state. We need to
have a high self esteem and to love ourselves.
There also needs to be a
realisation that if we want to go after and achieve our goals then we have to
power through and make them happen.
Enter Mindfulness!
Practicing Mindfulness
allows us to become more self-aware of the feelings and sensations that we
encounter during the small actions, being non – violent in both our actions and
our communication.
Take screen breaks at work
Use a softer pillow in bed
at night
Add a blanket to your bed
These small acts of kindness
to ourselves help to introduce new ways of being and as a result new neural
pathways are formed this starts the transformation to a position of self love.
However, dark moments can
still appear from time to time but you do not have to let them immobilise you.
So finally to close let me
quote a few lines from Wild Geese (a poem by Mary Oliver)
“You do not have to be good. You
do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert
repenting. You only have to let the soft
animal of your body love what it loves.”
My 28 page 2019 Workbook is now replaced by the (slightly) larger 2020 Workbook.
To order a copy of the new book please navigate to the Shopping Page
Business Developer / Coach Emma Kersey said this about the 2018 Workbook
"Sorry I didn't get round to fully utilizing the e-book but please know that just reading it helped massively........... just needed a push and the book did that so thank you"
About Dave I am a coach; speaker; radio presenter and founder of The Blue Sky Company. I am also a therapist and my therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy and Reiki. Currently I am studying towards a Diploma in Mindfulness
If you would like to know more about the blog or my therapy work etc, then please email me.
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Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.
And above all
Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!
