 |
| (Photo: wytchwynd photography) |
Hi and welcome to the latest post on my blog.
This week I feel that one of the things I need to talk about in the light of recent experiences is how we deal with illness and grief when a loved one is diagnosed with a life limiting illness.
I am not going to
tell you what you have to do because every situation is different. So by way of illustration of one person’s approach
in this particular tale I will talk about my dear and long standing friend Mr
M.
Mr M is the same age
as me and has been married to his partner for the past 19 years. Approximately 6 months ago Mrs M was
diagnosed with a fairly aggressive stomach cancer.
Mr M has faced this
situation head on, despite the fact that he has suffered from recurring black
outs since sustaining an horrific head injury some years back.
Approximately a
month ago Mrs M had to undergo a routine examination at the hospital and as a
result of which it was pronounced that she had a few weeks remaining at the
most.
When Mr M contacted
me, as normal, to give me a progress report I could tell from his voice that he
was “beside himself” with emotion.
He said that after
hearing this devastating news he felt like he had “been hit by an express train”
and has said since that he regularly feels the tears welling up inside
him.
However, he has maintained
a “stiff upper lip” and refuses to allow Mrs M to see him cry. Despite the seriousness of the situation he
encouraged and helped her to “put her affairs in order”.
He confessed that it
was difficult at times but that somehow he got through those dark days and they
began to rebuild their lives based on the time they perceived that they had
remaining.
Eventually his
wicked sense of humour returned and they established a routine of short excursions
– to the shops etc. – but nothing too strenuous.
Approximately 3
weeks ago things slumped again and Mrs M became virtually bed bound. She was in a lot of pain and as time passed she
was drifiting in and out of consciousness.
Mr M called in the medical
team and as a result she was admitted to a nearby hospice and the latest news
is that every day is now a bonus.
Despite all of this
Mr M has kept his sense of humour and has decided that as a tribute to Mrs M he
has begun studying a Bereavement Counselling course so that he can use this
experience to help other people.
He also asked me
(with my music therapy hat on) for any advice that I could give him to help her
through her remaining time. I made a few
suggestions and one of which has proved to be of use to them.
I asked him about
her favourite music and after a while he came back to me and said that it was
Gregorian Chants so I suggested that he take her some CDs that featured that
style of music and have them quietly playing in her room. He reported back that her demeanour had
changed and she was now far less agitated and way more relaxed.
So whilst this post
is not designed to be a blue print for dealing with those final months, weeks
and days of life I do hope that it provides an indication that as normal a life
as possible is the aim.
My hope is that her
transition from one life state to another is accomplished with dignity and
peace.
WRITTEN
BY DAVE BAXTER 12TH OCTOBER 2017
ooo000ooo
About Dave I am a coach; speaker; radio presenter and founder of The Blue Sky
Company. I am also a therapist and the co-owner of a virtual
light centre called The Crystal Spring. My
therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy and I recently qualified
as a Reiki Master / Teacher and I am currently studying a Colour Therapy
course,
It would also be fantastic if you would spread the word about the blog, the
facebook tribe etc. to your friends and family.
LINKS
Email: CLICK HERE
Website:
Wytchwynd Photography
Pinterest:
To subscribe to the blog please go over to the right hand side of this page
and click the button that says “Follow”.
Once you do that you will be added to our list of subscribers.
Feel free to share this and other posts with your friends and associates
Inspirational Phrases
We send out a daily email containing an
Inspirational Phrase.
However, to ensure that we comply with the
relevant regulations this is a subscription only service.
To be included please send an email using “add
me” as the subject to
Once you have subscribed the phrases will be
delivered to your mail box every day at no cost to you whatsoever.
It would also be great if you would spread the word about the blog, the
tribe etc. to your friends and family
Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.
And above all
Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!
DAve x
No comments:
Post a Comment