Dealing With
Shyness
(a follow up to a 2017 post)
As
part of my own Personal Development I have been thinking about a situation that
I have in common with many people around the world.
You
see I am a person who displays natural shyness!
This
is really odd because for many years I have worked in various parts of the
entertainment industry (singer / songwriter, radio presenter, tv presenter) and
it feels so odd when I say that I do not like being “put on the spot”. After all these years maybe it’s the flow of
adrenalin that keeps me doing it, I simply don’t know!
So
having done some more research I have compiled this list of 20 things that can
help transform “a shrinking violet” into someone who comes across to other
people as a confident person.
The first step to dealing with shyness is to Understand It!
– What triggers it / What are you concerned with?
Shyness is often triggered when I am
meeting someone who I do not know and the need to take part in the small talk
that goes with such meetings. I find
that sort of thing a challenge because I simply do not know what to say!
Transmute yourself from being Self
Conscious into having Self Awareness – understand that the world is not staring
at you – be aware of what you are thinking and what you are feeling and adjust
where necessary.
I tell myself that I can deal with
this, yes I am sweating, my heart is beating faster than normal, but it is only
for a short while, and it will pass
Learn your strengths – use this knowledge to your advantage
My strengths come from the
understanding that I know how to relax myself, I can control my responses and
the knowledge that I am an entertainer (of sorts) so take a deep breath and do
what I do best!
Learn to like yourself and who you are – I already do!
Understand that it is perfectly ok to be different – I
believe that being different is what makes me interesting
Focus on other people and what they have to say - It is not all about me, and I have
learned to ask “interesting questions” – it is a good strategy to get the other
person to talk about themselves, it takes the spotlight off you
Learn to control your breathing - If it is rapid focus on your attention
on your breathing to bring it to a slower, more even pace and rhythm
Move about and exercise
Visualise yourself as a confident person – Over time learn to take note of how you
feel, what you see, how you stand, how you sit when you are in that state and
replicate them as the need arises.
Affirm your new confidence and that you are an extremely
capable and wonderful person - Repeat a minimum of 10 times “I am an
extremely capable wonderfully confident person!”
Face the situation - It is highly unlikely that anything is
going to happen that will injure, maim or even take your life so relax into the situation.
Accept - not everyone will love you, and that is OK
Get rid of any notions of “Perfectionism” – be natural
Stop applying the label - “I’m shy!”
Practice knowing - what to say and how to think ahead
Put yourself on the line – Placing yourself deliberately into
situations will help you to
desensitise yourself to the fear
Relax - Breathe and move with grace
Do what is comfortable
Focus on the present moment – because really that is all
that there is
Seek your success and note it down when it happens – in time
you will be able to look back over your journey and you will tend to wonder
“why did I allow myself to be that way?”
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The (slightly) larger 2020 Workbook is now available!
To order a copy of the workbook please navigate to the Shopping Page
Business Developer / Coach Emma Kersey said this about the 2018 Workbook
"Sorry I didn't get round to fully utilizing the e-book but please know that just reading it helped massively........... just needed a push and the book did that so thank you"
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About Dave I am a personal development coach; a therapist; speaker; and radio presenter. A number of years ago I founded The Blue Sky Company to enable me to develop my work in more ways. In addition I am also a therapist and my therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy, Reiki and I am working towards a Diploma in Mindfulness.
If you would like to know more about my therapy work etc, then please email me.
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