08/12/21 Breaking The Start / Stop Cycle

Hi and thanks again for taking the time to read my blog.  I hope that you continue to find it interesting and I look forward to meeting you in person one day.

This week I have decided to take a look at a situation that appears in the lives of many of us.  It is something called The Start / Stop Cycle and here are a few tips that could help you break out of that situation.

So let us being with a time for reflection because it is important to look at why you are stuck!  Be honest with your answers! 

Ask yourself why, and do this several times over until you get right to the core of your stuck moment.

Once you know exactly why you are stuck it opens the way for you to devise a plan that will move you forwards based of the type of life you intend to be living!

The stuckness can usually be one of 3 things

If your heart is not in it but you can't let it go - you are acting as if you are a Doubtful Achiever.  

You need to decided if you are in or out

To decide whether or not you doubt is legitimate you can ask yourself the following questions (write you answers in long hand and then discuss these answers with someone who you trust and respect)

1) where is my doubt coming from?

2) what emotions does my doubt bring forward?

3) what would get rid of my doubt?

4) is this doubt colliding or conflicting with one or more of my values?

When you have discussed these answers with yourself (or someone else) answer the next two questions (again with total honesty)

1) How would I feel if I followed my doubt and backed out?  

2) Can I proudly stand behind the decision to let go of the situation?

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If you are too overwhelmed to make as big a contribution as you would like then it could be that you acting our the role of someone who is a Frazzled Achiever

You need to stop, take stock and trade one commitment for another, making sure that they are only small commitments.

1. How big a commitment do you really want to make? 

Answer this question in terms of:-

time, 

brainpower, 

emotional involvement

responsibility.

2. What are you doing now that you could swap for approximately the same amount of time and effort?

What kind of help will you need to make this happen?

3 If there is anything else that could wait so that you can give yourself some breathing space write that down next.

How does your plan make you feel?  If it does not offer you relief or excitement give yourself time to think about it and then try again using different answers

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And now to my final point

If you enjoy the idea of something more than actually taking part you are being what is known as a Daydream Achiever

You will need to recruit some assistance to help you move from thinking to doing. So let us identify a person who can give you the motivation to take action

1. If you could replace yourself who do you know that would do as good a job as you do?

2. What qualifies them to do that?

3. How would they approach the task?

4. Because you not actually going to replace yourself what kind of help could you ask for?

Could it be someone to teach you?

Could it be someone to encourage you?

Could it be an assistant?

Could it be someone who will keep you "on track"?

Could it be someone to give you advice?

By selecting and using the relevant information above I believe that it is possible identify and take the steps necessary to completely break the Start / Stop cycle and move to a situation where you know exactly what you are doing, and when and how you need to take the required steps to complete your projects in a timely manner.

Thanks

DAve x

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About Dave   I am a personal development coach; a therapist; speaker; and  radio presenter.  A number of years ago I founded my coaching practice and although it has gone through various incarnations the core of Altered Image Coaching has always remained the same to help and encourage people to live their best lives.  

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