Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash
Hi it’s DAve
Thank you for joining me on today’s blog which contains some of my own thoughts on goal setting.
How many people out there feel that that goal setting is difficult and can often result in the surfacing of negative emotions?
If you are like me there is often a fear that lurks around goal setting, namely, will it work or won’t it work?
I have learned over time that there are certain areas where effective goals are difficult to achieve – so I have been wondering why? After a number of years pondering this, I have concluded that it must have something to do with mindset!
In my own case goals that are related to work are often achievable even though they are difficult, but irrespective of this I push on and generally success.
However, on a personal note I set goals, start well, but then the impetus fails and I eventually give up.
Having thought about this quite a lot recently I eventually came to the conclusion that it has to do with my mindset! I sometimes feel that I am a completely different person when I am at work to who I am at home.
For instance at work I know that things can prove very hard but I keep going (maybe it is because I don’t want to be seen to fail) and I know that I am worthy of achieving success.
In my personal life, goals that I set are about me and I challenge myself to think in a completely different way because I make it all about me. This is because I dream of being a perfectionist and I would feel worthy of praise and therefore ultimately love. If I could follow these dreams to the letter I would be more appreciated and feel more loved.
After a lot of self analysis I realised that I was actually thinking
“way off in the future when I do have these things I will experience very positive feelings and thoughts and I will not be in a situation where I am feeling uncomfortable!”
In short, I now understood that I was creating goals which took me away from discomfort and into the realms of being comfortable.
These goals were about who I thought I should be!
So eventually, I came to understand that instead of trying to run away from discomfort I should accept it as part of my journey and ultimately become a better, more contented person because of it!
That said, I also realised that it was essential to change. In other words I needed to become
An Asset Rich person
By doing some deep thinking it became apparent that it is never about the goal but it is always about the person you become.
It is most likely that to reach your goal you will need to make changes to who you are. Ask yourself who you have to become to achieve the goal you have set.
Only Do One Thing
Become someone who does one thing and then add to it (reject the all or nothing theory) but don't become a perfectionist. The first step is biggest one and they you just need to keep going even if it is uncomfortable (because that is the point) - Simply KEEP GOING!
You Do Not Have To Imagine Being A Perfectionist
The thoughts now will be the same as the ones you have when you reach your goal. Goals will not deliver anything to you but your thoughts will lead you to good feelings and they are the only things that can.
Look Through A Different Lens
Instead of seeing past goal setting work as epic fails or similar, view them all as learning experiences. Tell yourself that in spite of what your "inner voice" says, you did not fail you simply gave up too early.
On your journey towards your goal view the obstacles as hurdles to get over and not as being reasons to give up. Become excited if things get difficult because you are being given an amazing opportunity - to create new thoughts and ideas to work on!
There Will Be Some Discomfort!
If you hate the journey how can you love the outcome? The thoughts you experience will be the same as the ones you have when you complete the journey. Thoughts create our feelings NOT the external circumstances
So having read this please give the following questions some thought
What can I do with my goals if I learn to work on my mindset first?
What ways can I create changes if I put my mind to it?
Where might I get to even if I continue to take imperfect steps?
Thank you for taking the time to read this post
Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!
DAve x
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I hold qualifications in each of the following disciplines:-
Life Coaching (Honours Diploma)
Music Therapy (Diploma)
Crystal Therapy (Practioner)
Reiki (Practitioner)
Dementia Awareness
In addition to the above I am compiling a series of short videos that will provide an
Introduction To Mindfulness
LINKS
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