WE ARE ALL GETTING OLDER
PART 3
Photo by Dave Baxter M.A.S.C.(life coach)
Asking For Help!
Let me say right at the outset that this piece is not saying in anyway that requiring help is the province of older people because it most definitely is not -
Babies need help feeding
Toddlers need help walking and dressing themselves
Teenagers need help dealing with life issues as they move towards adulthood
Parents of young children probably need help adusting and re-arranging their lives
Adults sometimes lose their way and need help + advice with social issues / financial issues etc.
Seniors often need help because of infirmity, falling, loneliness, failing eyesight and health issues, social care issues, and financial issues.
So with all that being said it becomes apparent that needing help is a part of life and growing up, that we all need help as some point or other during each phase of our lives.
This prompts me to ask a question - why do we feel so awkward when we need to seek assistance from someone?
Could it be that we have become conditioned to accept and shoulder responsibility and to take control that it makes asking for help become a cause for being uneasy?
Taking that a stage further do we feel a failure because a situation occurs where we need to ask for assistance and that in turn means surrendering our control to another person or persons?
Sometimes we believe that seeking help could be construed as being "needy" - hence the comments "we don't want to feel ashamed of our situation" and "we don't want to be thought of a incompetent"
People often fear that that they will be rejected or will be told "no!" and that finds its roots in a fear of being viewed as weak or "being found out"
There appear to be 5 major obstacles to asking for help or assistance
1) The belief that needing help is a sign of weakness
It is a falsehood to believe this is a sign of weakness because in doing so you are showing maturity and confidence by knowing what you need and you are not afraid to ask for it.
2) The belief that you do not need support and/or help
Each one of us needs help now and again - nobody can handle everything alone. If you accept help it can actually strengthen relationships / friendships because everybody feels good if they can provide support.
3) Being afraid to speak out and ask for help
Sometimes when we need help we have to ask for it! The best way to approach this is to simply acknowledge this and ask for help! For Example - "i am really having trouble with this could you please give me some help or advice?"
4) Waiting for someone to make the first move
Other people might not see that we need help because we are putting on a cheerful face in order to mask the problem or to give the impression that we don't want to talk. Remember that people are not mind readers so don't wait for someone to notice what you need - just ask!
5) Giving up to easily
All too often if we don't get all we expect immediately there can be a great temptation to "give up" - Getting help needs us to do something and we need to try several times, but that said we need to persevere.
Remember - none of us can go it alone! and people do not always know what we want - if we put a brave face on the situation!
Don't hesitate to reach out for support or don't be afraid to give support / help it you think that someone needs it!
Please join me next week for part 4 of this piece.
If you find that these points have raised any questions please feel free to drop them to me in an email - devonlifecoach@mail.com
Thank you for reading this post, I hope that you have found it interesting and that it will be useful to you going forwards.
So until the next time have a fantastic week and I will speak to you again soon.
DAve x
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About Dave I am a personal development coach; a therapist; speaker; and radio presenter. A number of years ago I founded my coaching practice and although it has gone through various incarnations the core of Altered Image Coaching has always remained the same to help and encourage people to live their best lives.
Certifications
I hold qualifications in each of the following disciplines:-
Life Coaching (Honours Diploma)
Music Therapy (Diploma)
Crystal Therapy (Practioner)
Reiki (Practitioner)
Dementia Awareness
In addition to the above I am compiling a series of short videos that will provide an
Introduction To Mindfulness
To find out more about how we could be able to work together or to just dive straight in and book a session, then please send me an email
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LINKS
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Workbook
The 2022 Personal + Lifestyle Development Coaching Workbook is now retired and no longer available.
Keep an eye open for the 2023 Workbook (7)
coming soon!
Please email: devonlifecoach@mail.com for more information
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Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.
And again, above all remember
"Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!"
DAve x
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