Are You Having Problems With Difficult People At Work?

When you consider the amount of time we spend in other people’s company at work is it really surprising that we run into some difficult situations?  Now there is a school of thought that these situations are sometimes (in fact quite often) a reflection of something that is going on in our world.  

Anyway be that as it may I thought that I would provide a few simple pointers that can help at these difficult times.

Use Humour - we can often deflect a difficult situation by using a good old dollop of humour – have you ever tried to maintain a state of anger when someone does or says something funny.  Children are experts at this and I know from personal experience with our two girls they could defuse any situation by a quirky look or a random funny comment.

Don’t take it as a personal attack – when someone “has a go” try to remember that it probably is nothing to do with you; you are simply the “one in the way”.  This does not excuse bullying or unkind behaviour. 

The way the other person is behaving often speaks a lot about them and therefore when we realise this we can often find the behaviour easier to deal with.  If you are working with people from different cultural backgrounds there could be a situation where something that you would consider an affront may be a totally acceptable way of behaving in their native culture and it could be simply their way of communicating.

Person and Issue (may not be one and the same) – it can often be found in a workplace that a person who is generally very “nice” and amenable – can get into a real tizzy about something.  An inexperienced “onlooker” might link the two and see that the other person as being a “real pain” “obnoxious” or some other such thing.  Whereas the reality is that they are often a very nice person who is “wound up by a situation over which they feel they have no control.   

A little bit of careful examination might reveal that the issue is causing them to behave in a manner that is not “normal behaviour”.    Separate the two elements - the person and the issue – then you can be soft on the person and hard on the issue.  To make sure it does not happen again you could possibly use a conversation starter such as “I appreciate that you have worked hard on that and now we need to …..”  OR “Thank you for bringing that to my attention now how do you think we can deal with it?”!

Choose you battles carefully – don’t get involved in situations unless you really have to and it may be best to accept that stepping into a situation might prove to be “counter productive”.  Make your selection carefully especially if the other person is more senior to you at work etc. and becoming involved could seriously impact on your job future.

Remain detached – for example, take a moment to mentally float above the situation and see it from that perspective (I can say in all honesty that I have used this one a few times and it really helps you become detached and enables you to view things objectively.  You can often decide that this situation is not even worth the emotional energy you would need to expend if you get involved with it.

Try to adopt a “water off a duck’s back” position and do not allow the other person to see that you are getting wound up or starting to behave irrationally.  You may need to do some work on you own Self Esteem or Self Confidence before wading in on this one.

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About Dave   

As the founder of The Blue Sky Company I am dedicated to building a business that:-

“Inspires and Empowers people to create Lasting change”

I am a coach; speaker; radio presenter; therapist and co-owner of a virtual light centre called The Crystal Spring. 

My therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy and Reiki (qualified Master / Teacher).  In addition I am currently studying towards a Practitioner /Master’s qualification in Mindfulness.

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The Under Blue Skies Workbook is now available to download. 

Simply contact me to arrange a PayPal payment of £7.50 and then once the payment has been processed you will receive the download link and can enjoy the exercises and tips it contains.

Kind regards

DAve x