Welcome
to Under Blue Skies and today I would like to explore several ways that you are
holding yourself back.
There
are a number of ways that you may be holding yourself back from living the best
life you can and you don’t even realise it.
Life today is often about being a multi tasking, multi functional and
infallible version of who you really can be.
In
the past we were explorers, discoverers and makers of mistakes! In 2018 we are generally
more concerned with how we appear to others and it is often considered “uncool”
to do anything other than be a pastiche of what we could actually be.
We
look more at how things appear rather than how they feel. We tend to give up the experience of genuine
health, of mind and body, for the latest “quick fixes”. We believe it is more important to be
comfortable and “happy” than to be a fully realised person.
So
here are 12 ways that we are holding ourselves back from being who we really
could be…….
You Want Your Life To Be
Different Than It Is, But You Do Not Want To Do Anything To Change It
Nearly
always this situation stems from the subconscious belief that someone will do
it for you. Someone else will save you, someone will show you the way. You are responsible for your
"journey," but someone else can handle the roadmap for you.
This
is usually what happens when people do not feel they can take responsibility
for themselves because they have never had to before, sadly rather than trying,
they just wait around for someone else to take the reins and do “it” for them.
You Are Too Structured
With Your Routine
You
do not give yourself the space to procrastinate, or to fail, or to nap, or to
open up to a possibility you did not consider prior. This is usually why you feel
the need to completely disregard your plan for the day because you created it
for a robot and not a person.
You Are Too Lenient With
Your Life
You
do not get enough sleep, you are probably not drinking enough water, you do not
force yourself to work on a project during the time designated to it. You have
tightened up your schedule that much that you end up not actually accomplishing
what you want to, because you are more concerned about how you (want to) feel
in the short-term.
You Do Things Out Of Obligation,
Then Confuse This Action For "Love"
True
love is often about making sacrifices that do not feel like sacrifices. When
you love someone truly, your desires or opinions or preferences may not always
come first, but doing this does not feel like a taxing, negative or almost
unbearable duty and you will be happy to give it at times.
Sometimes
people get confused. They show up to places and remain friends with people they
do not want to be associated with because of obligation. They fail to realise
that in maintaining this fake and disingenuous “love” they are preventing themselves
from ever really finding the real thing.
You Are In Love With
Outcomes Not Processes
When
you imagine your dream life, it almost always consists of how things look. You rarely consider the day-to-day functions
and responsibilities it takes to get them that way. The only way to create the
life you want is to fall in love with the process, the every day.
All
too often people do not do this, because many times it requires rethinking what
you truly value/desire. In reality this
means that you have to let go of the false and grandiose idea of what your life
could be and look at how it really is.
You Operate From A
Belief That You Do Not Actually Agree With Or Believe In
You
have "assumed" this belief to be true because everybody else seems to
believe it is. The word “believe” is made up of "be" and
"live."
If
you do not feel comfortable (or you do not) choose to "be" and
"live" whatever it is you claim to take a stake in believing, then
you probably are not buying into it as much as you think you are. The truth is that you probably like what you
assume it can do for you and/or the image that you like to hold of yourself.
You Are Mindlessly
Engaging With People Who Infuriate You, Not Understanding Why
This
usually happens when you do not feel secure enough to express how you really
feel. You continue to engage with these people because you care about them (or
you have to), but you are not yet able to navigate your own operating system to
a point where you can calmly and effectively communicate what you need to say
in a way they will understand.
You Will Not Rewrite
Rules That Your Parents Or Society Put Into Your Head
You
know these rules do not apply, or they are not actually helpful, but instead of
understanding that you can re-write the terms and conditions of your existence,
you just follow what was implanted in you out of an obligation to other people
that you place above an obligation to yourself.
You Do Not Take Enough Me
Time
Your
mind is constantly bogged down with other people's thoughts and energies. You
often end up feeling like nothing more than just the reflection/compilation of
all the roles you play for other people, because you have never had to genuinely
stand "alone."
People
who are afraid of taking a healthy amount of alone time often do not want to
hear what they have to say to themselves, so they adopt the thoughts of everyone
else.
You Constantly Try To Decide
What You Are Meant To Do, Or Who You Are Meant For
Trying
to figure out what you're "meant to do" is as effective as trying to
identify who "the one" is before you start dating them.
This
is what people do when they are so afraid of failing that they are not willing
to try.
When
you focus too much on the idea of how things should be, you start to lose your
concept of how they are. Not everything will be picturesque, and that is a
reality for which you will often be grateful.
Happiness is how you create the pieces of a life that feels good to you,
not how closely you adhere to ideas and images of life that other people
desire.
When You Are Uncertain,
You Seek The Advice Of Numerous Friends
Feeling
uncertain is not a call to ask the opinions of everybody you know! The
reality is that this only feeds the problem more. Feeling uncertain is a call
to truly listen to what you are trying to say to yourself, not to further
disconnect from it based on what other people would perceive.
You Have An Idea Of What
Your "Best Life" Should Look Like On The Outside, But Not What It
Would Feel Like On The Inside.
Most
people assume they are unhappy because of something external, they do not
understand that their overall contentment is not casual, it is a manner of
perception.
So
when we create ideas of what our best lives would look like, we focus on what
pretty pictures would ease all the internal discomfort, rather than the actual
solutions.
If
this post has raised any questions or comments please feel free to leave them
in the box below.
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About Dave
As the
founder of The Blue Sky Company I am dedicated to building a business that:-
“Inspires
and Empowers people to create Lasting change”
I am a
coach; speaker; radio presenter; therapist and co-owner of a virtual light
centre called The Crystal Spring.
My
therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy and Reiki (qualified
Master / Teacher). In addition I am
currently studying towards a Practitioner /Master’s qualification in
Mindfulness.
If you would like to know more and would prefer a more
confidential approach then please send me an email, my email address is
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Have a fantastic day, live
a life of Passion and Power.
And above all
Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!
DAve x
P.S.
The Under Blue Skies Workbook costs just
£7.50 and is available to download. (The print version is available at £13.99 +
shipping)
Just
follow these 3 simple steps to get your copy and begin to make serious changes
in your life
1 Email me (including the shipping address for
the print version)
2
Arrange a PayPal payment of £7.50 or £13.99 + £2 shipping
3 If the
electronic version is required then please follow the download link I will send
you .
For
those of you who would like to get feel for the sort of things the workbook
contains I have devised something called the Mini Goal Pages
This is
free to download pdf file that is a “no cost” supplement to the book. To get your copy all you need to do is follow this link to download the file to your computer. You can then print the current month’s page
and begin working with it immediately.
DAve
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