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| AddPhoto by Gabriel Matula on Unsplash |
Following
on from my recent post on Mindfulness I was researching something that could
continue the theme I had already set in place.
So hopefully this piece will do just that.
If
you follow the steps that I will outline here then you can change your life
around. This is not just a “maybe” but a
very definite “you can begin to control your feelings and by doing so your life
will change”.
Let
me ask you this – if you were able to
manage your feelings what effect would that have on your life?
What causes our
feelings?
Serious
question and to be honest the answer is – YOU DO!
Every
single feeling you have ever felt is completely down to you. That goes for anger, doubt, regret, love,
jealousy – you have chosen to feel those things in the moment you feel them.
Each
and every feeling you have (day or night) is controlled by a thought! And every
single thought you have is directly responsible for creating your feelings –
and that is something that will affect the whole of your life.
Let
me assure you that there is a whole lot of science behind this!
This
is clearly shown in the self – coaching model below that was devised by Brooke
Castillo
Thoughts lead to
Feelings that lead to
Actions that lead to
Results
And
therefore we can create any feeling that we want irrespective of the facts
because it is how we process the information that determines what we feel.
So
at this point let me ask a question :-
Why
is that people in poor (poverty stricken) countries can be just as happy (or
perhaps even happier) than some of the world’s most successful business people?
The
answer is because they have thoughts that align with their feelings that they
want to create.
So
if you would like to learn the steps that can help you change your feelings
then grab yourself a pen and paper and let us make a start.
Step 1
Write
down in single words exactly what you are feeling right now (some examples to
help you could be fear, anger, shame and so on). You might find this hard at first - but this
is actually a natural situation. Try to
realise that all the feelings we have are just vibrations in our body.
Pay
attention to each part of your body and notice what is happening there, keeping
in mind that some of the feelings / emotions can be hard to acknowledge.
“The only way to create
the feelings that you want is by acknowledging the ones you are having right
now!”
Step 2
Now
that you have recognised the feelings – check in with yourself and find out
what thoughts are causing those feelings.
By
way of an example let us look at the feeling of “Guilt”
And
as a result of our internal examination we discover that the thought creating
the feeling reveals itself as
“I
am a bad parent because I do not spend sufficient time with my children!”
I
will just add here that many people have a problem with doing this and my
advice would be keep at it because it does become easier. It is hard to come face to face with your
thoughts but there results can be so rewarding.
Step 3
The
next step is to write down a list of what it is you want to feel. Use single words to create this list and they
should be feelings that you want to feel now.
Maybe
you want to feel confident or persistent or even excited. You can actually choose any feelings that you
want.
Step 4
Now
you have to decide what thoughts you need to have to cause you to feel those
feelings.
Using
“Excited” as an example, the thought you could have might be “I am excited to
be going to the fair on Saturday because I will be riding The Waltzer”
However,
make sure that you take your time over the choice of wording and don’t rush
just to get it done. Intentionally
repeating this phrase daily cannot help but heighten the excitement you will be
experiencing.
Step 5
Believing
the thoughts requires practice but the process of doing so is very simple.
You
really just have to follow the process every day until you believe the thoughts
and create the feelings that you want.
However
we have used a simple example above some other changes do need you to stick at
it on a daily basis – changing your thoughts and creating new feelings may
appear hard but it is well worth the effort
So
to summarise take time every day to:-
Write
down you present feelings
Write
down the thoughts causing those feelings
Write
down what you want to feel
Write
down the thoughts you need to have to make those feelings a reality
Believe
the thoughts and repeat them every day
In the interest of
balance
It
is worth noting that there are certain feelings that your brain will say are
necessary for survival, but I contend that these feelings are actually stopping
you creating the results that you seek in life.
These
feelings can be identified as:-
Fear
Doubt
Anger
Jealousy
Overwhelm
So
if you spot any of these feelings lurking around remember that you need to
maintain your focus on the useful feelings in order to create the results you
are seeking.
And finally:-
Working
with this concept has worked for me many times and I encourage you to stick at
it because the more you do it the better your life will become.
This technique has the
power to change your life – what will you do with it?
oooOOOooo
This book is only available by placing a direct order with me
The cost is £12 + shipping (payable via PayPal).
To order a copy please contact me.
Business Developer / Coach Emma Kersey said this about the 2018 Workbook
"Sorry I didn't get round to fully utilizing the e-book but please know that just reading it helped massively........... just needed a push and the book did that so thank you"
ooo000ooo
About Dave I am a coach; speaker; radio presenter and founder of The Blue Sky Company. I am also a therapist and owner of a virtual light centre called Rainbow Bridge. My therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy and I am qualified as a Reiki Master / Teacher and currently studying a Colour Therapy course,
If you would like to know more about the blog or my therapy work etc, then please email me.
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DAve x
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