Wednesday 24 July 2019

Forgiveness and Anger

©2018 wytchwynd photography

What is Forgiveness?

In the strictest possible terms Forgiveness is the process of bringing an end to resentment and / or anger that began as the result of an argument, a perceived difference, an offensive comment or  a mistake.

Forgiveness for former wrongs can be bestowed on people living or dead and without the need for something called restorative justice.  However the forgiver would normally expect an apology or a resolution to the situation before granting forgiveness.

It is often the case that when people become so intent on receiving an apology or punishing the offender  this, in itself, creates the destructive emotion we know as anger.

Looking at this from a position of Solution Based Thinking (something that my fellow coach Tom Armstrong and I have written a small book about) we see that seeking forgiveness creates a barrier and is not necessary. It falls into the same category as approval seeking, both of which are totally unnecessary.

The truly enlightened soul can honestly say that “I may like you to forgive, I may want you to forgive but I don't NEED you to forgive me in order for me to function”

It is important to recognise that everybody has imperfections and if you can see beyond that state, then the act of forgiveness becomes an unnecessary.

Buddhists say “He abused me, he struck me, he overcame me, he robbed me – in those who harbour such thoughts hatred will never cease”

Forgiveness is truly a selfish and self gratifying state because when you actually look at it closely you are the only person it affects.

What Is Anger?

Similarly ANGER is a destructive emotion – how useless it is to harbour anger.  Who does it really affect and more importantly who does it benefit in the long term? 

Does it affect the perpetrator of the event that angered you?.- NO!
Does it benefit (the) you? - it may help to “let off steam” in the initial moments but in the long term there are no benefits for anyone.
Does it give you pleasure? - NO! - Long term anger has a detrimental effect and has been proven to lead to illness and disease.

The only person affected by your anger is ultimately YOURSELF

You carry around feelings that stop you from enjoying what is really there. 
You see the bad in people

It follows naturally, that since Universal Law says that what you focus on you will attract, you will continually see that people are “bad”

If you allow the blinkered vision to become clear it is a fact that you will see things all around you that you may never have seen before. 

You may also discover that there are things happening that caused the event that angered you and about which you know nothing.  For in truth, you have absolutely no idea what is happening in the other person's world.  You may think know what is happening but I can state categorically that you have no idea why they have done what they have. 

So as I bring this article to a close I will ask of you just one thing –  

Please do not judge people unless you are prepared for them to judge you in the same way.  If you call someone a thief then be prepared for them to return the same judgement on you. 

Is your life so perfect that you can make that call?

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My 28 page 2019 Workbook containing lots of Personal Development tools is now on sale.  


The final copies of this book are strictly limited and they 
    are now only available by placing a direct order with me    

The cost is £12 + shipping (payable via PayPal).

To order a copy please contact me.

Business Developer / Coach Emma Kersey said this about the 2018 Workbook

"Sorry I didn't get round to fully utilizing the e-book but please know that just reading it helped massively........... just needed a push and the book did that so thank you"


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About Dave   I am a coach; speaker; radio presenter and founder of The Blue Sky Company.  
I am also a therapist and the owner of a virtual light centre called Rainbow Bridge.  My therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy and I am qualified as a Reiki Master / Teacher and currently studying a Colour Therapy course,

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Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.

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