And to continue……
2) Space Is Important
We often find that certain
things occur that are opposite to our desired outcome and when such things
happen we tend to become governed by such states as anger, being defensive
being jealous.
In these situations we
are likely to do something we will regret in the future and we could find
ourselves in a position of having to apologise for our behaviour.
But if we take a close look at how we behave in certain situations we are able to build more appropriate responses and we can move and shift as is required. Once we create the habit of looking at the way we are responding in the moment and being more mindful of the responses we find that we have created a situation where we live in mindful awareness of what we are doing.
Imagine if you will that you have been working with a colleague on something that is very important but as the project comes to a close you discover that your co-contributor is receiving all the praise and the lion’s share of the credit for the task.
How do you react?
If you are in this situation and your aware of the way this situation has affected you then you are said have “met your experience” and you now have the opportunity to take charge of the way you react.
Take note of how your body and your emotions are coming together to prepare for a response.
BUT if you are able to separate what is happening from you reaction to what is happening, then you stand a very good chance to avoid “riding along on the back” of the experience and be able to get “ahead of it”
If you do this examination of your thoughts you might see a story taking shape and it goes along the lines of:- “I worked hard to bring a successful conclusion to this project but the glory and credit were stolen from me at the last minute”
However, if you do see this coming you can now put yourself into a place where you are able to let it go without any of the stress, tension and uncomfortable possibilities, you can now just let that story slip away unnoticed.
You move into a more relaxed state and that relaxation ultimately brings you to place of being more confident and you might find that frown turns into a smile.
There is no need to allow your colleague to take the credit if you approach it from this mindful but you are now able to respond in a different way having observed the “story” from a different perspective
3) Look at the small things
Being in a state of conscious confidence when meeting experience is something that you can use in all situations you face. If can be helpful to guide you through areas and circumstances where small things might seem insignificant but might take on a more significant role if you do not examine them.
You can apply this to all situations in which you find yourself!
Imagine for a moment that you have decided that the task you are supposed to be working on are of little value and not really that important. Do you feel this way because this is a true evaluation or is it a construct of your mind because you can’t think of them in any other way?
Let us look a little closer at something simple:-
Consider what happens when you pick up the phone, because it is ringing, and you hold it to your ear. Because you have never done this consciously you probably feel that it is something you are doing for the first time.
You might feel slightly tense, slightly anxious because you are not used to examining the daily action of picking up the phone.
You are bringing awareness into something that you have allowed to be an automatic response, perhaps for many years and be doing this you can expand this type of examination to even the smallest of actions. It follows then that if you adopt this type of action to your bigger habits it is very likely you can create lasting change.
There is another spin off from this and that if you are more able to understand your own mind the better you will be at understanding other people’s minds. Similarly if you start to understand your own body language the easier you will be able to understand the body language of other people.
In conclusion, Mindfulness is not some sort of Crystal Ball but more a key to increasing your ability to have more understanding of other people and thereby creating better and more meaningful relationships.
And so I will end this piece with thanks and a direct quotation from the original article by Tara Healey
“No action, reaction, interaction, or relationship ever feels uninteresting or unworkable if a curious mind is brought to bear on it. You can actually transform that feeling of, “Oh man, here comes John, my supervisor—I bet he wants me to change my work, again” into “Here comes John again. How can I see and hear him, without judgment, as though we were interacting for the very first time—just dealing with what comes up in the moment?””
“In this way, mindfulness is not just personal. It has a contagious quality that will change the culture in an organization—not necessarily in big, sweeping ways but gradually, incrementally.”
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"Sorry I didn't get round to fully utilizing the e-book but please know that just reading it helped massively........... just needed a push and the book did that so thank you"
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About Dave I am a coach; speaker; radio presenter and founder of The Blue Sky Company. I am also a therapist and my therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy and Reiki. Currently I am studying towards a Diploma in Mindfulness
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