Wednesday, 22 February 2017

I Am Flawed........a misconception

The other day while I was preparing this post I started watching a video by a Buddhist Monk (Ajahn Brahm)  This man is English by birth and now lives in Australia, he is a teacher by profession, has had girlfriends and he has an amazing “take on life”

Anway, in the video I was watching he was talking about the skewed view we have of ourselves and how it does not take much effort to believe that we are not like other people.  We may say others are beautiful; others have lots of “stuff”; others have plenty of friends; people want to be round them and so on and so forth.

People often have a negative self image and if they are totally honest can often admit to thinking:-


This is a misconception!!!!

So now let me ask you a few things….. 

I need you to think very carefully and if you can remember ever saying?

I don’t like my nose, it is too big, people always laugh at me because of it, I feel depressed because of it”   if you can then stand by……..

Can you remember saying something like
I’m too fat and boys won’t like me because of that!”  if you can then stand by…….

Or have you ever said
Nobody likes me because I am damaged goods”  if you have then stand by……..

If you have answered these questions with a “yes” then I have a surprise for you and everyone else who has asked similar questions of themselves and got similar answers….


Do you think you are flawed, misshapen, a reject?

So many people look upon what they term as physical imperfections as being catastrophic twists of fate and they believe that their life will be less than perfect because of these things.

However, I would like to suggest that you undertake a small and simple task that will, if embarked upon in the spirit of this writing, change you perception of your self for ever.

So here is another question for you 

Are you prepared to give this task a go – after all what have you got to lose? 

If I am correct in my thinking you will go a long way to losing a self image that is misleading you, that has given you a false impression and a somewhat skewed view of yourself.

So what is the task?

I would like you to take a walk in a place where there are a number of naturally growing trees.  The emphasis here is that the trees must be growing naturally. The place could be a park, a wood or a forest but not a botanical garden or the like!  As you are walking I would like you to seek out and identify “The Perfect Tree

It must stand ramrod straight, it must not lean to the left or the right, nor forwards or back.  The trunk must be a perfect circle and must taper at just the correct angle
It must have perfectly formed and equally spaced branches.  Each of the branches must contain the correct number of leaves, perfectly formed and perfectly spaced.

I would not mind betting that having read the previous two paragraphs you are saying something like “he is talking out of his backside” or “that is just impossible, everyone  knows that you would never ever find a tree like that!”

So yes that is a bit of a challenge and it is doubtful that you would ever find “The Perfect Tree” so if that is the case why do people constantly complain that their bodies are not perfect.

So many of our fellow human beings are continually striving to be as “The Perfect Tree” without realising that it does not exist! There are huge numbers of people who put themselves under a surgeon’s knife, in an attempt to achieve this desired state of perfection, and yet they know that their reward could be a mutilated body; a face twisted out of shape; breasts that become lumpy and misshapen.  How many have known of, or been acquainted with, a lady who has suffered the effects of Botox being injected into her face.  It does not take much thought to see that the chase for perfection or enhancement can go horribly wrong!

Consider this example - a lady believes herself to be overweight and is often heard complaining that she has “thunder thighs” or that she is fat.  This person has spent many hundreds of pounds going to training, slimming clubs, gyms and so on in an attempt to reach her vision of perfection and yet it has always eluded her!  She has even considered buying “slimming medication” online and said that if that failed she was considering undergoing “gastric band” surgery.

It appears that she is constructing her reality in such a way that she has major issues with self esteem and therefore seeks to build her confidence by way of external factors and punishing training schedules.  She has also major issues with labelling and refuses to accept that inside there is a beautiful woman struggling to get out.

I believe that she has yet to learn from her successes, because she is so fixated on her failures. 

As Ajahn Brahm says “you learn from success, not from failure”  thus I believe that it would be entirely possible for her to turn her thinking around and instead of viewing a weight loss of 1.5 lbs as a failure, I would suggest that she looks at that as a big success.  I would then suggest that she looks closely at what she did and begin to replicate the same behaviour over the next and subsequent weeks.  I am fairly certain that she would see results over time, keep or probably improve her health, have increased levels of energy and not spent thousands of pounds of her hard earned money.

If this has made you think about how you act, or if it has prompted any questions, then please feel free to add them as a comment in the box below or to email me:-

About Dave I am a coach; speaker; radio presenter and founder of The Blue Sky Company.  I am also a therapist and co-own a virtual light centre called The Crystal Spring.  My therapy work includes music therapy; reiki; crystal therapy


Have a fantastic day and live a life of Passion and Power.

And above all

Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!

DAve x

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