20/10/21 Overcoming One Of My Deepest Fears!

Hi from North Devon:-

Let me begin this week's post by letting you into one of my deepest secrets (and fears)! 

Something has lurked in the background for many years (only surfacing every now and then)!  Put very simply, I am not a lover of speaking in public and it has been this way for as long as I can remember.

It first became apparent when I was at Senior School.  It was the day of a  drama class and I was called upon to enact a scene from the school calendar (Speech Day).  

I remember all too well the nerves in my tummy, the dry mouth and the pounding heart.  I wanted to run away and hide but I stuck it out while my drama teacher helped me move through the situation with many words of encouragement.  

So now years later I now want to share with you all, the wisdom she shared with me that day:- 

She advised me to focus on what I had achieved rather than on past failures.  

So, if you are concerned about something you believe you have failed at, look at it closely!  See what you did right and then decide how you can do things differently next time and thus improve on what went wrong!

See if you can find a role model – someone who already has self confidence – watch and learn from them.  

What do they do?  How do they act?  What makes them so self confident?

Discover ways that can help you to feel good about yourself and put them into practice.

Act as if you are self confident and slowly but surely you will begin to feel more confident (this is known as "The Fake it ‘til You Make It" principle)

Find out what  people like about you!  Then, shift your focus onto those things because they are part of who you are and they are what people like about you!  

You should begin to add all the above to the things that you already like about yourself!

Some Things you can do to aid the process:-

Preparation – prepare thoroughly for any task that you are about to undertake, make sure that you are ready to begin.  Remember the 5 "P's"  that are:-

Prior Preparation Prevents Poor Performance

Do you need any specific skills to do what you want?  If the answer is "yes!" then learn them – you can never be over-skilled or over-trained for any task in life

Learn to relax!  If you have relaxation skills identify them and commit to putting them into practice before starting the task you have to do.

When you are delivering a presentation - smile and make sure you are standing straight!

Set yourself achievable goals!  It is a good idea to break harder or more difficult tasks into smaller steps (something that is called chunking)

Give yourself a small reward for success – No matter how small the achievement is you will associate feeling good with success

Do not become too competitive –  it isn't a race against other people!

Do not compare yourself to others!  This process is about you and your self - confidence.  Make sure that you understand that you are working to satisfy your personal needs.

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About Dave   I am a personal development coach; a therapist; speaker; and  radio presenter.  A number of years ago I founded my coaching practice and although it has gone through various incarnations the core of Altered Image Coaching has always remained the same to help and encourage people to live their best lives.  

Certifications

I hold qualifications in each of the following disciplines:-

Life Coaching (Honours Diploma)

Music Therapy (Diploma)

Crystal Therapy (Practioner)

Reiki (Practitioner)

Dementia Awareness

In addition to the above I am compiling a series of short videos that will provide an 

Introduction To Mindfulness

To find out more about how we could be able to work together or to just dive straight in and book a session, then please send me an email

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 Altered Image Coaching page. 

This page is home to a group of like - minded people (also affectionately known as "The Tribe").

By way of a thank you for their continued support people who join "The Tribe" often receive exclusive content that I do not post anywhere else.  

Plus the page also provides advanced information about forthcoming projects and events.

So please spread the word about the blog, the tribe etc. to your friends and family and I hope to see you as a member of our "Tribe" soon.

LINKS

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www.moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/bluesky

Wytchwynd Photography:

http://moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/photographyportfolio

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/davethemerlin/under-blue-skies/

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Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.

And above all remember

"Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!"

Repair and Renew

      REPAIR AND RENEW

According to recent research it would appear that one in four people will experience some kind of mental health issue each year. Such emotional difficulties (if they do not have life-threatening consequences) are not that dissimilar to breaking a leg or catching a flu virus. They can bring discomfort and pain that may last a while but they are not bringing any long-lasting effects (Although you may carry the memory for quite a time).

Society has made huge strides concerning openness regarding issues around mental health, but there are a lot of people who have adopted a “should” type of judgement when it comes to themselves and their lives.

Take for example the case of a lady who has been having a tough time – she is experiencing panic attacks and anxiety, a relationship that has fallen apart, plus friends of hers have made announcements concerning new jobs, babies and house moves.

These events create expectations and the lady believes “This is where my life should be“. She feels under pressure and is sad because she is not yet healed – this intern puts her into a state of anxiety and even deeper sadness. She begins to believe that she is doomed to live the rest of her life this way.

Broken bones heal in time, despite how painful they are, we will regain normal use but there is no short-term fix for issues of the mind, and we may feel that our sadness is going to remain with us forever.

Then we start to feel that we should be “over this by now“ we experience impatience and believe that there is only an allocated time to feel this way before we “snap out of it!“. However this is part of the process of grieving and moving forwards.

Sadly in some respects the western world bases it’s therapy for such situations in talking therapy and anti-depressant pills (both of which are useful).

However, there is a lot to be said for Eastern thinking - There is a belief in the “Dark Night of the Soul” which is regarded as “a right of passage” and an opportunity to transform/transcend and heal.

Rumi is quoted as saying “The wound is the place where the light enters you” and once you feel that, you will begin to work through your own darkness.

We often tell ourselves stories as a way of dealing with our wounds – but, we never pay any attention to the wound itself so it becomes infected and festers.

It is only when we truly examine the wound, realise the untrue stories and allow the light of healing to enter us that we are truly able to heal.

(Adapted from an article entitled “Plaster Cast For The Mind” by Ali Roff)

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About Dave   I am a personal development coach; a therapist; speaker; and  radio presenter.  A number of years ago I founded The Blue Sky Company to enable me to develop my work in more ways.  In addition I am also a therapist and that work includes music therapy; crystal therapy; Reiki and I will soon be offering an introduction to  Mindfulness.

If you would like to know more about my therapy work etc, then please email me.

If you would like to join our Facebook group just follow the link below to the Under Blue Skies page. The page is home to a group of like - minded people (affectionately knows as "the tribe").

By way of a thank you for their continued support Tribe Members regularly receive exclusive content that I do not post anywhere else.  The page also provides advanced information about forthcoming projects and events.

So please spread the word about the blog, the tribe etc. to your friends and family and I hope to see you as a member of our "Tribe" soon.

Under Blue Skies Private group · 27 members Join Group This group aims to concentrate primarily on Personal Change although at times there may be elements of Business Change or a cross over point somewhere...

LINKS

Website:

www.moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/bluesky

Wytchwynd Photography

http://moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/photographyportfolio

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/davethemerlin/under-blue-skies/

To subscribe to the blog please go over to the right hand side of this page and click the button that says “Follow”.  Once you do that you will be added to our list of subscribers.

Feel free to share this and other posts with your friends and associates

Inspirational Phrases

In addition to the above I send out a daily email containing an Inspirational Phrase. 

To ensure that we comply with the relevant regulations this is a subscription only service and to  be included please send an email using “add me” as the subject to:- 

underblueskies@zoho.com

Once you have subscribed the phrases will be delivered to your mail box every day at no cost to you whatsoever.

Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.

And above all

Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!

         My 
         Slip
         Was
         Showing!

Hi and thank you for being here.

Before I begin, a little historical fact - in the "olden" days women used to wear a garment under their dresses called a "slip" .  A slip was a full length garment designed to give a the dress a better shape.  The term "my slip is showing" instead of being an actual statement of fact eventually came to mean someone was making a mistake.

So this week I thought I would tell you something about a personal experience that I have gone through within the last 24 hours.

The story goes as follows:-

I came home from work yesterday evening to a happy atmosphere within the house. I was told when I got indoors that we were having a visitor in the evening. This is not an unusual occurrence and in fact I was really looking forward to it.

The reason being that since the situation with regards to the perceived* Coronavirus pandemic, we have led fairly sheltered lives.  Therefore, seeing someone different would prove to be a welcome distraction.

At around 7 o’clock the doorbell rang and we welcomed our bubble-sharing friend**

As is usual with this person the conversation was quite spirited and all was going very well until a WhatsApp message arrived for my wife Alison.

It is often the case that when these messages arrive the content is discussed (not in full glorious technicolour but in sufficient detail to say what is happening).  However, this time it was not!

Several more of these messages arrived during the evening and again, the content was not discussed.

But I did eventually gather (from a comment that was made quietly) that the conversation was about a Christmas dinner event for the social group Alison and our friend belonged to.

In and of itself this would not normally cause any sort of a problem!  However, because I carry a little bit of angst concerning this group (which is a whole different story) I was somewhat perturbed that Alison had felt it necessary to be so secretive.

The fact that I knew nothing about the impending event, together with the apparent secrecy surrounding it, caused me something of an upset.

This resulted in my inner instincts coming into play and I chose to retreat into my shell rather than discuss the situation openly. However, this decision led to the evening's conversation becoming quite awkward and somewhat difficult.

Before any judgmental comments are passed I know that this type of action goes against everything that I teach clients, but it does go to prove that I am a normal human and and as such have failings and knee jerk reactions, just as everyone else.

However, because it was so unusual for the secrecy and guarded conversation to be manifest in our house I felt threatened and simply reacted from gut instinct.

I have since apologised to Alison for my behaviour.

So where did I go wrong?

Quite simply, I reacted because I felt threatened! 

I did not assess and evaluate the situation and then respond appropriately.  I simply curled up into a ball (figuratively) and went into shut down mode!

oooOOOooo

*  I have my own opinions about what is (and what is not) happening in the UK at present.

** for those who don’t know about bubbles.  Here in the UK we are permitted (during the lockdown situations) to have certain visitors, provided that we are sharing our space to provide them with support and assistance (otherwise known as a bubble).

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The 2021 Workbook is now in progress!

However if you wish to order a copy of the outgoing 2020 workbook please navigate to the Shopping Page

Business Developer / Coach Emma Kersey said this about the 2018 Workbook

"Sorry I didn't get round to fully utilizing the e-book but please know that just reading it helped massively........... just needed a push and the book did that so thank you"

ooo000ooo

About Dave   I am a personal development coach; a therapist; speaker; and  radio presenter.  A number of years ago I founded The Blue Sky Company to enable me to develop my work in more ways.  In addition I am also a therapist and my therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy, Reiki and I am working towards a Diploma in Mindfulness.

If you would like to know more about my therapy work etc, then please email me.

If you would like to join our Facebook group just follow the link below to the Under Blue Skies page. The page is home to a group of like - minded people (affectionately knows as "the tribe").

By way of a thank you for their continued support Tribe Members regularly receive exclusive content that I do not post anywhere else.  The page also provides advanced information about forthcoming projects and events.

So please spread the word about the blog, the tribe etc. to your friends and family and I hope to see you as a member of our "Tribe" soon.

Under Blue Skies Private group · 27 members Join Group This group aims to concentrate primarily on Personal Change although at times there may be elements of Business Change or a cross over point somewhere...

LINKS

Website:

www.moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/bluesky

Wytchwynd Photography

http://moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/photographyportfolio

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/davethemerlin/under-blue-skies/

To subscribe to the blog please go over to the right hand side of this page and click the button that says “Follow”.  Once you do that you will be added to our list of subscribers.

Feel free to share this and other posts with your friends and associates

Inspirational Phrases

In addition to the above I send out a daily email containing an Inspirational Phrase. 

To ensure that we comply with the relevant regulations this is a subscription only service and to  be included please send an email using “add me” as the subject to:- 

underblueskies@zoho.com

Once you have subscribed the phrases will be delivered to your mail box every day at no cost to you whatsoever.

Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.

And above all

Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!

Upturn The Status Quo

Upturn The Status Quo

Today I would like to encourage you to be a little bit radical!

As I am sure you all know, inventions only happen when people challenge the conventional ways of doing things.

At one time there was a limited use of aircraft because people believed that flight was impossible and their reasoning was that something that was heavier than air could fly through the skies.  But no matter how much people scoffed at this a small band of dedicated researchers stuck to their belief that one day a machine would be capable of escaping the ground and flying through the air.

As far back as 1799 an Englishman George Cayley drew up a set of plans for a fixed wing aircraft, then in 1804 he followed those plans and build a small glider and then in 1853 he flew a full sized glider near Scarborough.

Now let us consider shipping:- the concept of iron hulled sailing ships was considered impossible because iron is so heavy and yet they were constructed and sailed successfully between 1820 and 1900.

Now let us jump forwards to approximately 60 years ago the world was placed into torment and turmoil by something that was created in America

When the United States of America launched its first satellite into space the date was 31st January 1958.  The Explorer one satellite however was not, however, the first human made object that flew into space.  The honour for that achievement went to the Soviet union‘s Sputnik 1 in October 1957

However, the following 60 years have not all been about studying other worlds through the marvels of science we have also been able to learn so much more about our own planet. 

The discoveries that have been made about Earth have changed the way we see the World for all time!

We have been able to watch the development of wildfires, to look at pollution, weather and even the historic journeys of the multi-tonne statues on Easter Island.

David Portree said "because we saw weird stuff on other worlds it made us think it is our right to have weird stuff here on earth!" 

"We used to think that the craters on the earth's surface were the result of volcanic eruptions but further investigation has shown that these have been formed by the impact of space rocks".

He also goes on to say that "not everyone may be profoundly changed on a daily basis by the things we have learned from going into space" but rather "the potential exists in a lot of people to feel a kinship with the Kosmos because we now know more about it"

So don't simply accept what is! If you feel that there is a better way to do things then keep trying until you perfect an alternative, because who knows you might just create another case of "upturning the Status Quo!"

oooOOOooo

The 2021 Workbook is now in progress!

However if you wish to order a copy of the outgoing 2020 workbook please navigate to the Shopping Page

Business Developer / Coach Emma Kersey said this about the 2018 Workbook

"Sorry I didn't get round to fully utilizing the e-book but please know that just reading it helped massively........... just needed a push and the book did that so thank you"

ooo000ooo

About Dave   I am a personal development coach; a therapist; speaker; and  radio presenter.  A number of years ago I founded The Blue Sky Company to enable me to develop my work in more ways.  In addition I am also a therapist and my therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy, Reiki and I am working towards a Diploma in Mindfulness.

If you would like to know more about my therapy work etc, then please email me.

If you would like to join our Facebook group just follow the link below to the Under Blue Skies page. The page is home to a group of like - minded people (affectionately knows as "the tribe").

By way of a thank you for their continued support Tribe Members regularly receive exclusive content that I do not post anywhere else.  The page also provides advanced information about forthcoming projects and events.

So please spread the word about the blog, the tribe etc. to your friends and family and I hope to see you as a member of our "Tribe" soon.

Under Blue Skies Private group · 27 members Join Group This group aims to concentrate primarily on Personal Change although at times there may be elements of Business Change or a cross over point somewhere...

LINKS

Website:

www.moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/bluesky

Wytchwynd Photography

http://moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/photographyportfolio

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/davethemerlin/under-blue-skies/

To subscribe to the blog please go over to the right hand side of this page and click the button that says “Follow”.  Once you do that you will be added to our list of subscribers.

Feel free to share this and other posts with your friends and associates

Inspirational Phrases

In addition to the above I send out a daily email containing an Inspirational Phrase. 

To ensure that we comply with the relevant regulations this is a subscription only service and to  be included please send an email using “add me” as the subject to:- 

underblueskies@zoho.com

Once you have subscribed the phrases will be delivered to your mail box every day at no cost to you whatsoever.

Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.

And above all

Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!