Breaking The Chain.......

Breaking

          The

                        Chain

Hi and welcome to this week's blog post.

I have spent a lot of my working life following somebody else's rules and dictates often feeling that this was nothing like it was meant to be.

Many times I felt that I was a Square Peg in a Round Hole and that I did not fit in.

But before I go any further, let me give you a small insight into my background. My dad worked in a factory and having spent many evenings attending night School he qualified as a draftsman. in a relatively short space of time after his qualification the family moved lock stock and barrel the Cheshire where are dad took up a post as a Civil Servant. Eventually this post would lead him to become a qualified cost engineer.

My mum was a florist and she worked for a funeral director after which she ultimately became hairdresser. However for many years after we moved to Cheshire she was a middle class housewife bringing up her young family. as her family older mum decided that you wanted to go back to work you found a job caring for elderly people in a residential home.

As for myself I had successfully passed the 11-plus examination and had an accepted into Grammar School but even then I knew that there was so much more that life had to offer me and that I had plenty to offer to other people.

I discovered that I had a skill for helping people to see through the curtains of their life windows and to help them gain clarity in various situations.

However at this time my dream was to become a teacher. I felt that this was something that I could get my teeth into:-

For whatever reason I did not what achievement the results that I needed to get into college and thus the offer of a place was withdrawn.

During the following years I drifted through various career paths and eventually followed in my father's footsteps and became a civil servant, then after several months the contract expires and I found a position as a sales rep,then a bus driver and ultimately a coach driver.However, life was to change yet again because I was not ultimately happy by any of the above career choices and so I followed my heart I booked onto a course and trained to become a coach. At the time this was the only formal training anyone could get for entry into Coaching.

Subsequently I took a diploma in life coaching and I trained as a counsellor after which I became a qualified music therapist. these qualifications gave me a lot of satisfaction when dealing with clients but did not provide the regular income I required as a family man and so I fell into to my next love - entertainment.

However, after 20-years of doing the same sort of things I really am feeling bored.

So lately I have been working around the concept of "Breaking The Chain" and how to do just that!

Because I have compiled several workbooks and other publications I am starting to feel that I really need to go back into Coaching and in such a way that I can combine it with the entertainment business that I also still love.

So although this is still a work in progress situation the die is well and truly cast - in the coming months I will be looking closely at my exit strategy from this corporate world and my entry strategy into the new (and hopefully more exciting one!) of a full time coach / therapist.

Thank you for reading this post that I hope you found of interest.

Please take the time to look below at the different ways you can get involved and I will look forward to speaking to you again soon

DAve

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The (slightly) larger 2020 Workbook is now available!

To order a copy of the workbook please navigate to the Shopping Page

Business Developer / Coach Emma Kersey said this about the 2018 Workbook

"Sorry I didn't get round to fully utilizing the e-book but please know that just reading it helped massively........... just needed a push and the book did that so thank you"

ooo000ooo

About Dave   I am a personal development coach; a therapist; speaker; and  radio presenter.  A number of years ago I founded The Blue Sky Company to enable me to develop my work in more ways.  In addition I am also a therapist and my therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy, Reiki and I am working towards a Diploma in Mindfulness.

If you would like to know more about my therapy work etc, then please email me.

If you would like to join our Facebook group just follow the link below to the Under Blue Skies page. The page is home to a group of like - minded people (affectionately knows as "the tribe").

By way of a thank you for their continued support Tribe Members regularly receive exclusive content that I do not post anywhere else.  The page also provides advanced information about forthcoming projects and events.

So please spread the word about the blog, the tribe etc. to your friends and family and I hope to see you as a member of our "Tribe" soon.

Under Blue Skies Private group · 27 members Join Group This group aims to concentrate primarily on Personal Change although at times there may be elements of Business Change or a cross over point somewhere...

LINKS

Website:

www.moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/bluesky

Wytchwynd Photography

http://moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/photographyportfolio

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/davethemerlin/under-blue-skies/

To subscribe to the blog please go over to the right hand side of this page and click the button that says “Follow”.  Once you do that you will be added to our list of subscribers.

Feel free to share this and other posts with your friends and associates

Inspirational Phrases

In addition to the above I send out a daily email containing an Inspirational Phrase. 

To ensure that we comply with the relevant regulations this is a subscription only service and to  be included please send an email using “add me” as the subject to:- 

underblueskies@zoho.com

Once you have subscribed the phrases will be delivered to your mail box every day at no cost to you whatsoever.

Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.

And above all

Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!

My Video Wish for 22/02/19

Today's Video Wish

Thank you for watching and have a great day

DAve xx

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My 28 page 2019 Workbook containing lots of Personal Development tools is now on sale.  

Currently it is only directly available from myself    

The cost is £12 + shipping (payable via PayPal).

To order a copy please contact me.

Business Developer / Coach Emma Kersey said this about the 2018 Workbook

"Sorry I didn't get round to fully utilizing the e-book but please know that just reading it helped massively........... just needed a push and the book did that so thank you"

ooo000ooo

About Dave   I am a coach; speaker; radio presenter and founder of The Blue Sky Company.  I am also a therapist and owner of a virtual light centre called Rainbow Bridge.  My therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy and I am qualified as a Reiki Master / Teacher and currently studying a Colour Therapy course,

If you would like to know more about the blog or my therapy work etc, then please email me.

Follow the link to join our Facebook page Under Blue Skies this page is host to a group of like - minded people (affectionately knows as "the tribe").

It would also be fantastic if you would spread the word about the blog, the tribe etc. to your friends and family.

LINKS

Website:

www.moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/bluesky

Wytchwynd Photography

http://moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/photographyportfolio

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/davethemerlin/under-blue-skies/

To subscribe to the blog please go over to the right hand side of this page and click the button that says “Follow”.  Once you do that you will be added to our list of subscribers.

Feel free to share this and other posts with your friends and associates

Inspirational Phrases

We send out a daily email containing an Inspirational Phrase. 

However, to ensure that we comply with the relevant regulations this is a subscription only service. 

To be included please send an email using “add me” as the subject to  

underblueskies@zoho.com

When you have subscribed the phrases will be delivered to your mail box every day at no cost to you whatsoever.

It would also be great if you would spread the word about the blog, the tribe etc. to your friends and family

Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.

And above all

Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!

DAve x

Making Home Made Stress Balls

(Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash)

You might not think of stress balls as a children’s thing, but I can assure you that they are. These super cool squashy balls are perfect for people who fidget, children who are affected by Autism, Sensory Processing Disorders, Anxiety and probably every child that we know. They stretch, they squeeze, and they are so much fun for everyone, including adults.

A Short Description Of Play

(image by cristi tohatan)

Hi and welcome to the first of the Under Blue Skies blogs for October (The Month of Play).  I looked around for a description of the play that I could use and although this article cites children as its main focus I felt it was the best description I had found during all my research.

More Steps Towards Greater Confidence

(©2018 wytchwynd photography)

Following on from last week’s post I felt that there were more tips that I could talk about that you can utilise to help you become more confident.

Steps To Help You Become More Confident

(©2018 wytchwynd photography)

I often hear people saying things like “oh I wish I could be confident like you!  You can stand up in front of a room full of people and don’t show any nerves” – little do they know!

A Different Look at Self Esteem

Self esteem is the relationship that you have with yourself, you might say it is the way that you talk to yourself behind closed doors, where no-one can hear you.

How do you talk to yourself?  Are you kind to yourself?  Do you talk to yourself respectfully?

So let us look a little more deeply at some of the rubbish that we allow ourselves to say internally.

Listen closely to how you talk to yourself.  Do you call yourself names or bury yourself in ‘should’ statements? There are many dysfunctional ways of thinking that we call all be caught by. It is important to avoid the most common thinking traps that I have listed below:-

Should, Must or Ought

You tell yourself how you “should”, “must”, or “ought” to feel and behave. However, this is NOT how you actually feel or behave. The result is that you are constantly anxious and disappointed with yourself and/or with others around you.

Imagining Catastrophic Situations

In this scenario we always imagine that the worst possible thing is about to happen, and predict that we will not be able to cope with the outcome. However, the imagined worst-case scenario usually never happens and even if it did, we are often able to cope with it.

Filtering

This is when we only pay attention to the bad things that happen and ignore all the good things we are filtering information. This prevents us from looking objectively at all the aspects of a situation and drawing a more balanced conclusion.

Over-estimating danger

This is when we believe that something which is unlikely to happen is actually right around the corner. It is easy to see how this type of thinking can maintain our anxiety. For example, how can you not feel scared if you think that you could have a heart attack any time?

Labelling

Sometimes we talk to ourselves in mean ways and use a single negative word to describe ourselves. This kind of thinking is both unhelpful and unfair. We are too complex to be summed up in a single word!

Over-generalization

This is when we use words like “always” or “never” to describe situations or events. This type of thinking is not helpful because it does not take all situations or events into account. For example, sometimes we make mistakes, but we don’t always make mistakes.

Mind-reading

Sometimes when we believe that we know what others are thinking we assume that they are thinking the worst of us. The truth is that no-one can read minds, so we do not really know what other people are thinking!

Black-and-white thinking

This happens when we only look at situations in terms of extremes. We assume that things are good or bad, a success or a failure. But, in reality, most events call for a more “moderate” explanation. For example:- cheating once on your diet does not mean you have failed completely. You had a small setback, and all you need to do is to get back on your diet tomorrow

Fortune-telling

I have personally got a number of clients to whom this type of thinking applies. This happens when we predict that things will turn out badly. But, in reality, we cannot predict the future!

Another way we can get ourselves into troubled waters is not challenging our thoughts.   You can do this quite simply by asking yourself “Would I say this to a friend of mine?” 

If the answer is absolutely not! Then why would you speak to yourself that way.

Some ideas you can use to help you raise your self esteem

Talk to yourself in the 3^rd person

Instead of saying “I can manage this situation” say “insert your name you can manage this situation.”

Remember this

Feeling hurt or upset does not mean that you are bad. Feeling uncomfortable does not imply that there is something wrong with you!

A feeling is simply that – it is a feeling

Please recognize that accepting and managing certain feelings can be difficult, especially when we don’t know how to do it.

Building our self-esteem by changing how we treat ourselves can be challenging.

So if you feel that the tips mentioned here are not enough to help you build your self esteem on your own, or you would like to see positive results faster, consider working with a specialist coach or counsellor.

ooo000ooo

About Dave   

As the founder of The Blue Sky Company I am dedicated to building a business that:-

“Inspires and Empowers people to create Lasting change”

I am a coach; speaker; radio presenter; therapist and co-owner of The Crystal Spring – a virtual light centre. 

My therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy and Reiki (qualified Master / Teacher).  In addition I am currently studying towards a Practitioner /Master’s qualification in Mindfulness.

If you would like to know more but would prefer a more confidential approach then please email to:-

underblueskies@zoho.com

It would be great to have you become a member of our Facebook page Under Blue Skies and you can do this by following this link:-

https://www.facebook.com/groups/48418371285/

If you have found this post interesting please spread the word about the blog to your friends and family and I look forward to welcoming them along as well.

LINKS to my other sites

Website:

www.moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/bluesky

Wytchwynd Photography

http://moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/photographyportfolio

Pinterest:

https://uk.pinterest.com/davethemerlin/the-blue-sky-company

To subscribe to this blog please go over to the right hand side of the page and click the button that says “Follow” and you will be added to our list of subscribers.

Please share this and my other posts with your friends and associates

Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.

And above all

Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!

DAve x

P.S.

The electronic version of my Under Blue Skies Workbook costs just £7.50 and is available to download.  A print version is also available at £13.99 + shipping.

Just follow these 3 simple steps to get your copy and begin to make serious changes in your life

1  Email me (including the shipping address for the print version)

2 Arrange a PayPal payment of £7.50 or £13.99 + £2 shipping

3 If the electronic version is required then please follow the download link I will send you .

For those of you who would like to get a feel for the sort of things the workbook contains I have devised something called the Mini Goal Pages

This is free to download pdf file that is a “no cost” supplement to the workbook.  To get your copy all you need to do is follow this link to download the file to your computer.  You can then print the current month’s page and begin working with it immediately.

DAve

Things To Avoid If You Want To Make A Good Impression

 

©2018 wytchwynd photography

Hi and welcome to the Under Blue Skies blog.  It is so hard to believe that we are over half way through June already. This week I decided that I wanted to write a post about body language. 

This is something that we all are involved in and if we are not careful we may say one thing but our body tell the other person something entirely different.

So here are are few things that you ought to try and avoid if you really want to make a good impression on someone

Feet Pointing Away

Did you know that your feet point to where you wish to go? Keep in mind whenever someone is focused on a conversation with another person, his or her feet point to them. However, if he or she is about to go for lunch then their feet will point towards the door. Pay attention to the message your feet send because they are so very noticeable.

Touching Your Face

This is probably the most surprising body language mistake on this list. You may feel placing hands on your face makes you look like you are carefully thinking of something or that this action makes you appear intelligent; whereas touching your face actually makes you look dishonest, mainly if your hand is touching your nose or mouth.

Self Soothing

A lot of people self-sooth in various ways. Some wrap their ankles or legs around table legs or chairs. Some keep their hands together, others on their thighs or fidget with their clothes. Though these actions make you feel relaxed in an uncomfortable situation, they make you look weak and anxious. If you happen to be uncomfortable in situations, try find out why and address it so that you can be more confident without self-soothing.

Not Mirroring

We often unconsciously mirror body language.  If either the head or the hands of the person you are listening are tilted to the right, you will probably do the same. It is something that happens unconsciously.

Leaning Back

This body language mistake shows that you are uninterested and day-dreamy. It is offensive at all times; and especially when you should be listening to someone speaking.   It makes you appear unconcerned about what they have to say to you.

Getting Too Close

We all have dissimilar boundaries when it comes to personal space. Keep in mind that not everyone has the same experience.  A brief crossing of the line into personal space is generally fine, but staying there more than two seconds could mean that you have lost a friend.

Not Smiling

Smiling automatically creates a connection with the person you are talking to. Have you ever heard the phrase, “smile and the whole world smiles with you?”  This is in fact true! The person listening to you mirrors your smile and promptly feels better about them selves in the process.

Fidgeting

This shows that you are uncomfortable having a conversation. It also suggests that you are planning how to act instead of being present. The best thing to do in this situation is to reduce the movements of your hands and feet, and take deep breaths.

Leaning Away From Others

Leaning away from others could be positive! It shows you are relaxed and unimposing but when done too much, it portrays that you both unapproachable and not interested in the conversation. Always lean in occasionally at points in the conversation to show interest.

Looking Down

People who look down a lot tend to give an indication of shame. This is not something that you want to portray; so avoid looking downwards for long periods of time. Aim to keep your chin up and to keep your head held high and proud.

Crossed Limbs

This may be a useful tool in the animal kingdom but crossing your arms during conversations appears to be somewhat unfriendly.

It is not a good look because you are visibly protecting your midriff area from alleged threats; you should open your arms as a greeting, and then, wherever possible, place them behind your back instead. Crossing your legs could also be interpreted as having the same meaning as well.

Clock Watching

This is very noticeable and it is similar to checking you phone. People want you to be present in their conversation and if you constantly look as if you want to be somewhere else, the chances are that they will not want to engage with you either.

Avoiding Eye Contact

Normally, when making conversations, humans play a game of eye contact tennis. Once you finish your part of the conversation, look into the other participant’s eyes for approval of what you said or to gauge what is next. Usually the other will agree to play the game by communicating their point of view.

A Weak Handshake

The issue with a weak handshake is that our reptilian brain tells us the other person cannot be trusted. If there is no firm grip it means they may hold a weapon in their loose hands. It is not a positive signal towards anyone, particularly potential clients!

Slouching

Slouching is one the most common body language errors. It is usually caused by working hunched over computer screens and this can ultimately, and very easily, become our default setting. It shouts of a lack of confidence even if you are on your A-game. Try pushing your chest and pulling back your shoulders.

Thank you for joining me on this post and I hope that you have found it interesting.  If it has sparked any ideas about what else you can do to reclaim your life please pop them into the comment box below and if I get enough I will repost them as a 2^nd list of things you can help you get back to you!

Best Wishes

Dave x

ooo000ooo

About Dave   

As the founder of The Blue Sky Company I am dedicated to building a business that:-

“Inspires and Empowers people to create Lasting change”

I am a coach; speaker; radio presenter; therapist and co-owner of a virtual light centre called The Crystal Spring. 

My therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy and Reiki (qualified Master / Teacher).  In addition I am currently studying towards a Practitioner /Master’s qualification in Mindfulness.

If you would like to know more and would prefer a more confidential approach then please send me an email, my email address is

underblueskies@zoho.com

It would be great to have you become a member of our Facebook page Under Blue Skies and you can do this by simply following this link:-

https://www.facebook.com/groups/48418371285/

If you have found this post interesting please spread the word about the blog to your friends and family and I look forward to welcoming them along as well.

LINKS to my other online sites

Website:

www.moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/bluesky

Wytchwynd Photography

http://moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/photographyportfolio

Pinterest:

https://uk.pinterest.com/davethemerlin/the-blue-sky-company

To subscribe to this blog please go over to the right hand side of the page and click the button that says “Follow” and you will be added to our list of subscribers.

Please share this and my other posts with your friends and associates

Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.

And above all

Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!

DAve x

ooo000ooo

P.S.

The Under Blue Skies Workbook costs just £7.50 and is now available to download. 

Just follow these 3 simple steps (they are as easy as EAF) to get your copy and begin to change your life

1  Email me  

2 Arrange a PayPal payment of £7.50

3 Follow the download link I will send you

**********

For those of you who would like a no commitment trial of the sort of things the workbook contains I have devised something called the Mini Goal Pages

This is available at no cost to you whatsoever – all you need to do is follow this link and you can download it to your computer, then print the current month’s page and begin working with it immediately.

This quote has been left by Nicholas - the first person to take up the offer

"Thanks Dave, that is super. Really useful invention!"

All the best, see you soon,

Nick

Have a truly fantastic day and remember 

Don't predict the future - CREATE IT!

DAve x