24/11/21 Pitfalls Within Friendships

Hi and welcome to Altered Image Coaching.

Today I thought that I would talk about some of the pitfalls of friendships!

The first thing (Point 1) I would like to say on the subject is this:-

"If you become the caring heart of your family and friends you may feel that the role provides you with a purpose, but the truth is that it can leave you in a state of total exhaustion"

You may ask why this should be?  

The answer to that question is actually very simple:- you continually give without receiving anything in return.

Some friends may be "vampires" you know the sort I mean - they are the ones who take and never give back anything in return.  However, because of your nature you regularly find it hard to say "no!" which results in you finding yourself feeling low and believing that you have been used!

Next (Point 2) I would say that it is possible you will find yourself heading towards self sabotage - do you find yourself suffering from "burn out"?

You are probably a person who works and plays hard and you believe that you should just "get on with it" - most definitely a direct route to self sabotage.

Sometimes you might have an important meeting scheduled and you are still in the bar during the wee small hours.  Why do you expect to get by on four or five hours sleep or accept more work when you are already fully stretched?

You are putting both your physical and mental health at risk, this can result in you feeling unfit, having poor concentration, low energy levels and the like but you simply cannot stop yourself!

Now be honest, note your activity on a planner, then take a good look and decide if what you are doing is taking you nearer to or further away from your best life!

The next (Point 3) thing I would like to talk about is "worry"

Your active mind comes with a Dark Side - you tend to overthink and that results in you getting into a never-ending spiral of "worst case / what if" scenarios.  You may try to justify this by saying that you are prepared......but in fact you are unsettled by uncertainty and that gives you a feeling of self control.

Your belief is that if you expect the worst and it does not happen that is a bonus - but over time this situation drains you well - being, you feel tired, fed up of being stressed but it is hard to change.

Protect yourself by having "worry time" (a 15 minute window is good) and surprisingly when you schedule this time and sit down to worry the thing seems smaller, you have broken its hold over you!

Point 4 - is Conscientiousness:-

You are someone who is valued at work and you are often singled out as the "go to" person to get things done.  You thrive on personal growth and reaching your goals.  You often set the bar high but what really happens in that you spend so much time on the small stuff you have no energy left for the bigger things.  You feel that letting people down an an absolute "NO!"

You feel that "good enough" is ok for other people but never for you.

To protect yourself from burn-out step out of your routine every so often.  Too much routine drains you - begin a hobby that is fun to do and does not focus on achievement!

Carry our a friends audit!

Score each friend from 1 to 10 based on how much energy you have when you are in their company.  1 = flat and 10 = vibrant.

Once you have your results, make a conscious choice to spend the most time with friends who score 5 or above!

So this practically brings me to the end of this post, I hope that you have found the piece interesting and useful.  If you would like to talk about any of the points mentioned please feel free to drop an email to devonlifecoach@mail.com or give me a call on 07731 510040

Thank you for being here, I hope that you have found this post both interesting and useful and if you have any questions about this post or about my coaching service then please drop me an email.

I will be back again very soon 

DAve x

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About Dave   I am a personal development coach; a therapist; speaker; and  radio presenter.  A number of years ago I founded my coaching practice and although it has gone through various incarnations the core of Altered Image Coaching has always remained the same to help and encourage people to live their best lives.  

Certifications

I hold qualifications in each of the following disciplines:-

Life Coaching (Honours Diploma)

Music Therapy (Diploma)

Crystal Therapy (Practioner)

Reiki (Practitioner)

Dementia Awareness

In addition to the above I am compiling a series of short videos that will provide an 

Introduction To Mindfulness

To find out more about how we could be able to work together or to just dive straight in and book a session, then please send me an email

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By way of a thank you for their continued support people who join "The Tribe" often receive exclusive content that I do not post anywhere else.  

Plus the page also provides advanced information about forthcoming projects and events.

So please spread the word about the blog, the tribe etc. to your friends and family and I hope to see you as a member of our "Tribe" soon.

LINKS

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www.moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/bluesky

Wytchwynd Photography:

http://moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/photographyportfolio

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/davethemerlin/under-blue-skies/

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Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.

And above all remember

"Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!"

A New 30 - Day Challenge

 

 A New 30 - Day Challenge

Hey! It's Dave. 

This week I have decided to issue a bit of a challenge to my readers it is actually based on a Personality Exercise I took about 2 years ago.  

Naturally, having done this myself I would really like you all to do it as well and at the end feedback anything you discovered about yourself during the exercise.

Simply answer each question truthfully and jot down your answers.  You can share the insights (publicly or privately) if you so wish.  But even if you don't share, please leave a comment to tell us what you have discovered about yourself at the end of the questions:-

So here goes

1.  What weird things do you do when you are alone?

2.  How have you changed during the past 2 years?

3.  What kind of person attracts you?

4.  What do you prefer to wear to bed?

5.  Name 5 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

6.  Name 5 things that irritate you about your own sex?

7.  What is your opinion about checking on people?

8.  What are your current worries?

9.  When was your last kiss?

10. What are your thoughts on drugs & alcohol?

11. Name something you want to say to an ex!

12. Describe a date you would love to go on

13. Spill the beans - Something disgusting that you do?

14. The best thing to happen to you this week is............

15. What am you proud of in your personality?

16. What scares you?

17. Something that never fails to make you feel better?

18. When was your last argument?

19. Something that you can't get over?

20. 3 things about you that people don't really expect?

21. What if........?

22. Something you want to say to someone close to you?

23. Something you want to say to a friend?

24. 10 ways to win your heart? 

25. If you follow a religion what faith are you?

26. Something you like about your brother / sister?

27. What is your happy month and why?

28. What has changed for you significantly this month?

29. Where do you see yourself at this time next year?

30. When did you last say "I Love You!"?

Thank you for taking part and I hope that you got something out of it.

ooo000ooo

About Dave   I am a personal development coach; a therapist; speaker; and  radio presenter.  A number of years ago I founded my coaching practice and although it has gone through various incarnations the core of Altered Image Coaching has always remained the same to help and encourage people to live their best lives.  

Certifications

I hold qualifications in the following disciplines:-

Life Coaching (Honours Diploma)

Music Therapy (Diploma)

Crystal Therapy (Practioner)

Reiki (Practitioner)

Dementia Awareness

plus I am compiling a series of short videos that will provide an 

Introduction To Mindfulness

To enquire / book a session, then please email me.

If you would like to join our Facebook group just follow the link below to the Altered Image Coaching page. The page is home to a group of like - minded people (affectionately knows as "the tribe").

By way of a thank you for their continued support Tribe Members regularly receive exclusive content that I do not post anywhere else.  The page also provides advanced information about forthcoming projects and events.

So please spread the word about the blog, the tribe etc. to your friends and family and I hope to see you as a member of our "Tribe" soon.

LINKS

Website:

www.moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/bluesky

Wytchwynd Photography:

http://moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/photographyportfolio

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/davethemerlin/under-blue-skies/

To subscribe to the blog please go over to the right hand side of this page and click the button that says “Follow”.  Once you do that you will be added to our list of subscribers.

Feel free to share this and other posts with your friends and associates

Inspirational Phrases

In addition to the above I am able to send out a daily email containing an Inspirational Phrase. 

To ensure that we comply with the relevant regulations this is a subscription only service and to  be included please send an email using “add me” as the subject to:- 

underblueskies@zoho.com

Once you have subscribed the phrases will be delivered to your mail box every day at no cost to you whatsoever.

Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.

And above all

Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!

Wanting More......

        WANTING                                                         MORE.....

Hi it's Dave and today I thought I would bring the life coach within me into the spotlight to talk a little bit about the concept of how you can take charge of your own life.

I have a friend who once said to me that she was feeling really down because (and this is a statement I have used as a title for a book in the past) "It's My Life But Someone Else Leads It!"

What she did not know at the time, was that the girl standing in front of me was the sum total of all the choices that she had made in her life up until that day.  I said to her that the challenge was this "anything that is not working in your life should be looked at closely" and I suggested that she asked herself "Can I grow with this and in this situation?"

I felt that she was suffering something called "Deficiency Motivation" because I had often heard her saying "I don't like where I am" and "I don't like what I have done" and "I can't do this well" the result of this thinking was that it was challenging her personal and even business development.

The natural outcome of "Deficiency Motivation" is to make an assumption that something is wrong and then to attempt to fix it - however the reality is that you will never be able to "fix it".  You will always find that you are always trying to be somewhere else or doing something different but the logical outcome is that you start to suffer with something called Wanting More!

As an example of this let us consider that you want to have a bank balance of  £100,000 (or $) and so you set that as your goal and then work very hard towards getting that sum of money.  It is a struggle and you constantly deny yourself things along the way.  

Eventually you reach your goal and you have your 100,000 (£ or $) in the bank.  Over the years this aim has been your life, it is all you know, it has become who you are BUT once you get there you find that it is not enough!

A no limit person never operates from a place of deficiency or lack and they never say "I don't have enough"

In truth you are never going to get enough because quite simply - you are enough already!

So what of my friend?...........she adapted her thinking, changed her patterns and is now running a successful and profitable business working from home and is very happy with both her life and the work that she is doing.

DAve x

oooOOOooo

The (slightly) larger 2020 Workbook is now available!

To order a copy of the workbook please navigate to the Shopping Page

Business Developer / Coach Emma Kersey said this about the 2018 Workbook

"Sorry I didn't get round to fully utilizing the e-book but please know that just reading it helped massively........... just needed a push and the book did that so thank you"

ooo000ooo

About Dave   I am a personal development coach; a therapist; speaker; and  radio presenter.  A number of years ago I founded The Blue Sky Company to enable me to develop my work in more ways.  In addition I am also a therapist and my therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy, Reiki and I am working towards a Diploma in Mindfulness.

If you would like to know more about my therapy work etc, then please email me.

If you would like to join our Facebook group just follow the link below to the Under Blue Skies page. The page is home to a group of like - minded people (affectionately knows as "the tribe").

By way of a thank you for their continued support Tribe Members regularly receive exclusive content that I do not post anywhere else.  The page also provides advanced information about forthcoming projects and events.

So please spread the word about the blog, the tribe etc. to your friends and family and I hope to see you as a member of our "Tribe" soon.

Under Blue Skies Private group · 27 members Join Group This group aims to concentrate primarily on Personal Change although at times there may be elements of Business Change or a cross over point somewhere...

LINKS

Website:

www.moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/bluesky

Wytchwynd Photography

http://moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/photographyportfolio

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/davethemerlin/under-blue-skies/

To subscribe to the blog please go over to the right hand side of this page and click the button that says “Follow”.  Once you do that you will be added to our list of subscribers.

Feel free to share this and other posts with your friends and associates

Inspirational Phrases

In addition to the above I send out a daily email containing an Inspirational Phrase. 

To ensure that we comply with the relevant regulations this is a subscription only service and to  be included please send an email using “add me” as the subject to:- 

underblueskies@zoho.com

Once you have subscribed the phrases will be delivered to your mail box every day at no cost to you whatsoever.

Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.

And above all

Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!

I Feel Very Honoured!

All I can say is WOW!

Last Friday (21st August) I had the great pleasure of meeting a lady whose work I have admired for a great many years.   She is a great motivator, and amazing speaker and a fiesty redhead.

Nicky and Dave at Brundle's, Woolacombe

Nicky Pattinson (the lady concerned), her sister and I went to Brundle's Restaurant in Woolacombe and had a lovely brunch, plenty of spirited conversation and a thoroughly pleasant hour and a half.  We chatted about all sorts of things and discovered quite a lot of common ground.

So much has been said about Nicky that I doubt that there is anything original I could say about her.  

She is an Advanced Business Connection expert, an event speaker and more recently a "zoomer"

Her list of clients makes fascinating reading, from leading supermarket brands to high end perfume retailers, from hotel chains to gift stores and motor part retailers.

So for her to suggest that we met for coffee (which ended up as a Breakfast Brunch) actually made my flabber be gasted (ie flabbergasted)

To learn more about this amazing lady visit her website www.nickypattinson.com

Thank you for reading, all the very best

DAve x

oooOOOooo

The (slightly) larger 2020 Workbook is now available!

To order a copy of the workbook please navigate to the Shopping Page

Business Developer / Coach Emma Kersey said this about the 2018 Workbook

"Sorry I didn't get round to fully utilizing the e-book but please know that just reading it helped massively........... just needed a push and the book did that so thank you"

ooo000ooo

About Dave   I am a personal development coach; a therapist; speaker; and  radio presenter.  A number of years ago I founded The Blue Sky Company to enable me to develop my work in more ways.  In addition I am also a therapist and my therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy, Reiki and I am working towards a Diploma in Mindfulness.

If you would like to know more about my therapy work etc, then please email me.

If you would like to join our Facebook group just follow the link below to the Under Blue Skies page. The page is home to a group of like - minded people (affectionately knows as "the tribe").

By way of a thank you for their continued support Tribe Members regularly receive exclusive content that I do not post anywhere else.  The page also provides advanced information about forthcoming projects and events.

So please spread the word about the blog, the tribe etc. to your friends and family and I hope to see you as a member of our "Tribe" soon.

Under Blue Skies Private group · 27 members Join Group This group aims to concentrate primarily on Personal Change although at times there may be elements of Business Change or a cross over point somewhere...

LINKS

Website:

www.moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/bluesky

Wytchwynd Photography

http://moonshadowmedia.wixsite.com/photographyportfolio

Pinterest:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/davethemerlin/under-blue-skies/

To subscribe to the blog please go over to the right hand side of this page and click the button that says “Follow”.  Once you do that you will be added to our list of subscribers.

Feel free to share this and other posts with your friends and associates

Inspirational Phrases

In addition to the above I send out a daily email containing an Inspirational Phrase. 

To ensure that we comply with the relevant regulations this is a subscription only service and to  be included please send an email using “add me” as the subject to:- 

underblueskies@zoho.com

Once you have subscribed the phrases will be delivered to your mail box every day at no cost to you whatsoever.

Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.

And above all

Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!

Making Home Made Stress Balls

(Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash)

You might not think of stress balls as a children’s thing, but I can assure you that they are. These super cool squashy balls are perfect for people who fidget, children who are affected by Autism, Sensory Processing Disorders, Anxiety and probably every child that we know. They stretch, they squeeze, and they are so much fun for everyone, including adults.