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Wednesday, 27 June 2018
How often do you find yourself heading off on a new project with all guns blazing and full of great intent, only to find that a few days or weeks down the line you have suddenly been overtaken by a new interesting topic?
You then switch your allegiance to this new one saying something along the lines of:-
“It won’t hurt if I just do “Y” for a few days – I can always go back and pick up “X”. A few days won’t matter!”
Wednesday, 20 June 2018
Hi and welcome to the Under Blue Skies blog. It is so hard to believe that we are over half way through June already. This week I decided that I wanted to write a post about body language.
This is something that we all are involved in and if we are not careful we may say one thing but our body tell the other person something entirely different.
So here are are few things that you ought to try and avoid if you really want to make a good impression on someone
Feet Pointing Away
Did you know that your feet point to where you wish to go? Keep in mind whenever someone is focused on a conversation with another person, his or her feet point to them. However, if he or she is about to go for lunch then their feet will point towards the door. Pay attention to the message your feet send because they are so very noticeable.
Touching Your Face
This is probably the most surprising body language mistake on this list. You may feel placing hands on your face makes you look like you are carefully thinking of something or that this action makes you appear intelligent; whereas touching your face actually makes you look dishonest, mainly if your hand is touching your nose or mouth.
A lot of people self-sooth in various ways. Some wrap their ankles or legs around table legs or chairs. Some keep their hands together, others on their thighs or fidget with their clothes. Though these actions make you feel relaxed in an uncomfortable situation, they make you look weak and anxious. If you happen to be uncomfortable in situations, try find out why and address it so that you can be more confident without self-soothing.
We often unconsciously mirror body language. If either the head or the hands of the person you are listening are tilted to the right, you will probably do the same. It is something that happens unconsciously.
This body language mistake shows that you are uninterested and day-dreamy. It is offensive at all times; and especially when you should be listening to someone speaking. It makes you appear unconcerned about what they have to say to you.
Getting Too Close
We all have dissimilar boundaries when it comes to personal space. Keep in mind that not everyone has the same experience. A brief crossing of the line into personal space is generally fine, but staying there more than two seconds could mean that you have lost a friend.
Smiling automatically creates a connection with the person you are talking to. Have you ever heard the phrase, “smile and the whole world smiles with you?” This is in fact true! The person listening to you mirrors your smile and promptly feels better about them selves in the process.
This shows that you are uncomfortable having a conversation. It also suggests that you are planning how to act instead of being present. The best thing to do in this situation is to reduce the movements of your hands and feet, and take deep breaths.
Leaning Away From Others
Leaning away from others could be positive! It shows you are relaxed and unimposing but when done too much, it portrays that you both unapproachable and not interested in the conversation. Always lean in occasionally at points in the conversation to show interest.
People who look down a lot tend to give an indication of shame. This is not something that you want to portray; so avoid looking downwards for long periods of time. Aim to keep your chin up and to keep your head held high and proud.
This may be a useful tool in the animal kingdom but crossing your arms during conversations appears to be somewhat unfriendly.
It is not a good look because you are visibly protecting your midriff area from alleged threats; you should open your arms as a greeting, and then, wherever possible, place them behind your back instead. Crossing your legs could also be interpreted as having the same meaning as well.
This is very noticeable and it is similar to checking you phone. People want you to be present in their conversation and if you constantly look as if you want to be somewhere else, the chances are that they will not want to engage with you either.
Avoiding Eye Contact
Normally, when making conversations, humans play a game of eye contact tennis. Once you finish your part of the conversation, look into the other participant’s eyes for approval of what you said or to gauge what is next. Usually the other will agree to play the game by communicating their point of view.
A Weak Handshake
The issue with a weak handshake is that our reptilian brain tells us the other person cannot be trusted. If there is no firm grip it means they may hold a weapon in their loose hands. It is not a positive signal towards anyone, particularly potential clients!
Slouching is one the most common body language errors. It is usually caused by working hunched over computer screens and this can ultimately, and very easily, become our default setting. It shouts of a lack of confidence even if you are on your A-game. Try pushing your chest and pulling back your shoulders.
Thank you for joining me on this post and I hope that you have found it interesting. If it has sparked any ideas about what else you can do to reclaim your life please pop them into the comment box below and if I get enough I will repost them as a 2nd list of things you can help you get back to you!
As the founder of The Blue Sky Company I am dedicated to building a business that:-
“Inspires and Empowers people to create Lasting change”
I am a coach; speaker; radio presenter; therapist and co-owner of a virtual light centre called The Crystal Spring.
My therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy and Reiki (qualified Master / Teacher). In addition I am currently studying towards a Practitioner /Master’s qualification in Mindfulness.
If you would like to know more and would prefer a more confidential approach then please send me an email, my email address is
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Wednesday, 13 June 2018
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