Wednesday, 23 September 2020

Finding Your Voice!

     Finding Your Voice

Thank you for taking the time to join me here today.  

I decided that this week was probably a good time (in this period of unrest, discomfort and all of the other situations that are presenting themselves) to say something about Finding Your Voice.


I first wrote about this subject approximately a year ago when I was studying towards a Mindfulness Diploma and I decided that one day I would revisit and explore this subject a little further.

So as I said earlier I think that now is probably a good time to do this.  Listed below are a number of questions / tasks that will help you to decide what makes you the unique person that you are.

The first step to finding your voice is to examine your character closely - with honesty being the most important rule governing your answers.  

Make a list of all the words that describe your character and the qualities you possess.  Take your time doing this and be as accurate as possible with the words that you use.  

When you have created your list go back over it and find the 3 words that most accurately describe the best qualities you possess.

In my particular case the words I came up with at the end of this were

a) tenacious                              b) considerate                              c) deep

Next ask yourself (and answer truthfully) is this how I talk and come across to others?  If they were asked would people agree that the words I have used accurately portray my personal characteristics?


ooooooooo

Now let us look at the people that you have chosen to be part of your circle. 

Do you share common interests?

Are they male or female?


Are they in business on their own account or hold senior management positions?


Are they keen to develop themselves?


Do they share a similar sense of humour?


Do they share your values concerning right and wrong, good and bad etc?



ooooooooo

Next we need to establish the cultural / artistic influences you lean toward.  

Write down all the items of the above -

These answers will help you to determine (if you have not already worked it out) which situations would be comfortable (for you) should you be called upon to experience and discuss.

For example if you are a devoted fan of the music of The Beatles / The Rolling Stones or similar - you may find that you are uncomfortable attending the ballet or the opera

What sort of books appeal to you?  Biography, Science Fiction, Romance or others 

That then is the easy part...............


ooooooooo

Next you need to ask the question that is probably the most difficult and awkward question of them all.  

What do other people think of you and do their answers agree with how you see yourself?




ooooooooo
  
And finally................

Take a few moments and just write......this may not be as hard as you first think!    You can use this time to get things off your chest, write about things that are bothering you; things you like;  things you want more of in your life; things you want less of in your life;

This is your time, nobody is going to judge you and so you can let your mind go wild, you can truly "Find Your Voice!"


oooOOOooo

The (slightly) larger 2020 Workbook is now available!



To order a copy of the workbook please navigate to the Shopping Page


Business Developer / Coach Emma Kersey said this about the 2018 Workbook

"Sorry I didn't get round to fully utilizing the e-book but please know that just reading it helped massively........... just needed a push and the book did that so thank you"



ooo000ooo


About Dave   I am a personal development coach; a therapist; speaker; and  radio presenter.  A number of years ago I founded The Blue Sky Company to enable me to develop my work in more ways.  In addition I am also a therapist and my therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy, Reiki and I am working towards a Diploma in Mindfulness.

If you would like to know more about my therapy work etc, then please email me.

If you would like to join our Facebook group just follow the link below to the Under Blue Skies page. The page is home to a group of like - minded people (affectionately knows as "the tribe").

By way of a thank you for their continued support Tribe Members regularly receive exclusive content that I do not post anywhere else.  The page also provides advanced information about forthcoming projects and events.

So please spread the word about the blog, the tribe etc. to your friends and family and I hope to see you as a member of our "Tribe" soon.


Under Blue Skies
Private group · 27 members

Join Group
This group aims to concentrate primarily on Personal Change although at times there may be elements of Business Change or a cross over point somewhere...
LINKS

Website:

Wytchwynd Photography

Pinterest:

To subscribe to the blog please go over to the right hand side of this page and click the button that says “Follow”.  Once you do that you will be added to our list of subscribers.

Feel free to share this and other posts with your friends and associates

Inspirational Phrases

In addition to the above I send out a daily email containing an Inspirational Phrase. 

To ensure that we comply with the relevant regulations this is a subscription only service and to  be included please send an email using “add me” as the subject to:- 


Once you have subscribed the phrases will be delivered to your mail box every day at no cost to you whatsoever.

Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.

And above all

Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!



Thursday, 17 September 2020

A new identity


                   Hi 

            it's DAve









and welcome to each and every one of you.  

Recently I have been feeling more and more distanced from my work as a coach and the reasons for this are many fold.  Personal Coaching has been at the heart of things I have done in my life for many years.  So long in fact that some of my viewers (readers) may not have even been born when I qualified.

However, as time has passed the coaching has been pushed further into the background as other ideas, projects and people have entered my life and despite my knowing this I have not taken any action to stop it!

So recently I connected with someone whose work I had admired from those early days and yet despite her own issues she has continued to move forwards and has moulded her business to fit into the world as it is today. 

Since making this connection I have taken part in several of her trainings (via Zoom) and watched her podcasts (something she only began 2 weeks ago) plus a big event for me I have actually had a brunch meeting with her within the last month.

The upshot of all of this is that I have decided that it is time to get back to doing what I love and what I have been trained for and so starting today I am making changes that I feel will bring me back on track and the video below will tell you more about this.

In line with this I am going to be making changes to my Social Media presence over the coming weeks, Facebook groups will change (some might disappear completely), this blog will be changing its name but first and foremost the branding has to change and those changes are:-

The Business Name - is  Altered Image Coaching



Have a fantastic day and remember

    DON'T PREDICT THE FUTURE - CREATE IT!


Wednesday, 16 September 2020

A "should" and "ought" person!!

Hi everyone


A "Should" and "Ought"                   Person

I have been doing a great deal of soul-searching recently and one of the things that I have been wrestling with is my business name.  When I started coaching a few years ago I called the business


Altered Image (Life Coaching) 

and in all fairness it was a good choice that alluded to what I was about. I built my client list and soon enjoyed plenty of repeat business

However, I ignored my own evidence, changed the business name to The Blue Sky Company and did a big re-brand.  I also branded this blog etc. as Under Blue Skies.  My thinking was that the coaching services would be provided using The Blue Sky Company name and the blog and daily output would carry the Under Blue Skies brand.

Recently, I have been wondering whether the name change did me more harm than good because the coaching work has steadily decreased to just a handful of clients and whilst I am still offering a range of services, the phone is not ringing.  Under Blue Skies provides a lot of "free" content (which to be honest takes a lot of curating), which in turn takes a lot of time.  I have also wondered if the current economic climate is contributing to the situation.

So recently I have taken a long hard look at myself and quite honestly what I saw upset me. I have been displaying a similar trait to that of people I have coached in the past - I have begun to use what I call "advisory words" such as "I should do some research for the next post" or "I ought to read a new book"

Now I know as fact that in most cases the "shoulds" and the "oughts" will NEVER get done because there is no compulsion behind them.  Thus I have taken a leaf from my own book and those words are to be banned because I know that to allow me to move forwards the "shoulds" and "oughts" have to be replaced by "MUSTS"

Once someone has a "must do" in their life they have set the scene for progress and movement. I must be honest and say that I have spent many hours coaching people around Goals and Goal Setting because I believe in the "practice what you preach" maxim.  I have, in the past, followed the paths to my own goals in small manageable steps but I was still guilty of using the shoulds and oughts sometimes.

Sadly I had discovered that it was much easier to "should all over the place" than it was to grab things and do them by making the "musts".

So I had let things slide.............. 

I took my eye off the ball and started to follow the easy option.  I created what was predominantly free content - it meant that I didn't have to think too hard.  I could simply trot out a couple of daily posts on one or two topics and then believe that it was a case of "job done" - and thus my coaching need had been supplied.

However, I must add a cautionary note here - be very careful how and when you use the word "must" especially if you are talking to other people because it can be a stepping stone towards disaster.  

Example - if you are talking to someone and use the words "you must..." I would go as far as to say that you are 90% guaranteed to annoy the other person.  More than likely they will become hostile and angry towards you.  It is far better to use the words "if it were me I would......." which I refer to as the method of "Me I" communication.

So my advice is as follows:- Don't be fooled by "shoulds" and "oughts" they will make you feel happy because they are the keys to procrastination and to being ineffective!

If progress is your goal then it has to be a "MUST"

Oh and the business name decision?   Altered Image Coaching.


As a result of the above the coming weeks will see the coaching reverting to the Altered Image branding and there will be some quite major reworking on my internet presence.


                                                              oooOOOooo

The (slightly) larger 2020 Workbook is now available!



To order a copy of the workbook please navigate to the Shopping Page


Business Developer / Coach Emma Kersey said this about the 2018 Workbook

"Sorry I didn't get round to fully utilizing the e-book but please know that just reading it helped massively........... just needed a push and the book did that so thank you"



ooo000ooo


About Dave   I am a personal development coach; a therapist; speaker; and  radio presenter.  A number of years ago I founded The Blue Sky Company to enable me to develop my work in more ways.  In addition I am also a therapist and my therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy; Reiki and Mindfulness (I am working towards a Diploma in Mindfulness).

So If you would like to know more about my therapy work etc, then please email me.

If you would like to join our Facebook group just follow the link below to the Under Blue Skies page. The page is home to a group of like - minded people (affectionately knows as "the tribe").

By way of a thank you for their continued support Tribe Members regularly receive exclusive content that I do not post anywhere else.  The page also provides advanced information about forthcoming projects and events.

So please spread the word about the blog, the tribe etc. to your friends and family and I hope to see you as a member of our "Tribe" soon.


Under Blue Skies
Private group · 27 members

Join Group
This group aims to concentrate primarily on Personal Change although at times there may be elements of Business Change or a cross over point somewhere...
LINKS

Website:

Wytchwynd Photography

Pinterest:

To subscribe to the blog please go over to the right hand side of this page and click the button that says “Follow”.  Once you do that you will be added to our list of subscribers.

Feel free to share this and other posts with your friends and associates

Inspirational Phrases

In addition to the above I send out a daily email containing an Inspirational Phrase. 

To ensure that we comply with the relevant regulations this is a subscription only service and to  be included please send an email using “add me” as the subject to:- 


Once you have subscribed the phrases will be delivered to your mail box every day at no cost to you whatsoever.

Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.

And above all

Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!




Wednesday, 9 September 2020

Dealing With Shyness






      Dealing With Shyness
         (a follow up to a 2017 post)







As part of my own Personal Development I have been thinking about a situation that I have in common with many people around the world. 

You see I am a person who displays natural shyness! 

This is really odd because for many years I have worked in various parts of the entertainment industry (singer / songwriter, radio presenter, tv presenter) and it feels so odd when I say that I do not like being “put on the spot”.  After all these years maybe it’s the flow of adrenalin that keeps me doing it, I simply don’t know!

So having done some more research I have compiled this list of 20 things that can help transform “a shrinking violet” into someone who comes across to other people as a confident person.

The first step to dealing with shyness is to Understand It! – What triggers it / What are you concerned with?

Shyness is often triggered when I am meeting someone who I do not know and the need to take part in the small talk that goes with such meetings.  I find that sort of thing a challenge because I simply do not know what to say!

Transmute yourself from being Self Conscious into having Self Awareness – understand that the world is not staring at you – be aware of what you are thinking and what you are feeling and adjust where necessary.

I tell myself that I can deal with this, yes I am sweating, my heart is beating faster than normal, but it is only for a short while, and it will pass

Learn your strengths – use this knowledge to your advantage

My strengths come from the understanding that I know how to relax myself, I can                control my responses and the knowledge that I am an entertainer (of sorts) so take a          deep breath and do what I do best!

Learn to like yourself and who you are – I already do!

Understand that it is perfectly ok to be different – I believe that being different is what      makes me interesting

Focus on other people and what they have to say -  It is not all about me, and I have learned to ask “interesting questions” – it is a good strategy to get the other person to talk about themselves, it takes the spotlight off you

Learn to control your breathing -  If it is rapid focus on your attention on your breathing to bring it to a slower, more even pace and rhythm

Move about and exercise

Visualise yourself as a confident person – Over time learn to take note of how you feel, what you see, how you stand, how you sit when you are in that state and replicate them as the need arises.

Affirm your new confidence and that you are an extremely capable and wonderful        person - Repeat a minimum of 10 times “I am an extremely capable wonderfully confident    person!”

Face the situation - It is highly unlikely that anything is going to happen that will injure, maim or even take your life so relax into the situation.

Accept - not everyone will love you, and that is OK

Get rid of any notions of “Perfectionism” – be natural

Stop applying the label -  “I’m shy!”

Practice knowing - what to say and how to think ahead

Put yourself on the line – Placing yourself deliberately into situations will help you to 
desensitise yourself to the fear

Relax - Breathe and move with grace

Do what is comfortable

Focus on the present moment – because really that is all that there is

Seek your success and note it down when it happens – in time you will be able to look    back over your journey and you will tend to wonder

 “why did I allow myself to be that way?”

oooOOOooo

The (slightly) larger 2020 Workbook is now available!



To order a copy of the workbook please navigate to the Shopping Page

Business Developer / Coach Emma Kersey said this about the 2018 Workbook

"Sorry I didn't get round to fully utilizing the e-book but please know that just reading it helped massively........... just needed a push and the book did that so thank you"


ooo000ooo


About Dave   I am a personal development coach; a therapist; speaker; and  radio presenter.  A number of years ago I founded The Blue Sky Company to enable me to develop my work in more ways.  In addition I am also a therapist and my therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy, Reiki and I am working towards a Diploma in Mindfulness.

If you would like to know more about my therapy work etc, then please email me.

If you would like to join our Facebook group just follow the link below to the Under Blue Skies page. The page is home to a group of like - minded people (affectionately knows as "the tribe").

By way of a thank you for their continued support Tribe Members regularly receive exclusive content that I do not post anywhere else.  The page also provides advanced information about forthcoming projects and events.

So please spread the word about the blog, the tribe etc. to your friends and family and I hope to see you as a member of our "Tribe" soon.


Under Blue Skies
Private group · 27 members

Join Group
This group aims to concentrate primarily on Personal Change although at times there may be elements of Business Change or a cross over point somewhere...
LINKS

Website:

Wytchwynd Photography

Pinterest:

To subscribe to the blog please go over to the right hand side of this page and click the button that says “Follow”.  Once you do that you will be added to our list of subscribers.

Feel free to share this and other posts with your friends and associates

Inspirational Phrases

In addition to the above I send out a daily email containing an Inspirational Phrase. 

To ensure that we comply with the relevant regulations this is a subscription only service and to  be included please send an email using “add me” as the subject to:- 


Once you have subscribed the phrases will be delivered to your mail box every day at no cost to you whatsoever.

Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.

And above all

Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!



Wednesday, 2 September 2020

Wanting More......





        WANTING                                                         MORE.....








Hi it's Dave and today I thought I would bring the life coach within me into the spotlight to talk a little bit about the concept of how you can take charge of your own life.

I have a friend who once said to me that she was feeling really down because (and this is a statement I have used as a title for a book in the past) "It's My Life But Someone Else Leads It!"

What she did not know at the time, was that the girl standing in front of me was the sum total of all the choices that she had made in her life up until that day.  I said to her that the challenge was this "anything that is not working in your life should be looked at closely" and I suggested that she asked herself "Can I grow with this and in this situation?"

I felt that she was suffering something called "Deficiency Motivation" because I had often heard her saying "I don't like where I am" and "I don't like what I have done" and "I can't do this well" the result of this thinking was that it was challenging her personal and even business development.

The natural outcome of "Deficiency Motivation" is to make an assumption that something is wrong and then to attempt to fix it - however the reality is that you will never be able to "fix it".  You will always find that you are always trying to be somewhere else or doing something different but the logical outcome is that you start to suffer with something called Wanting More!

As an example of this let us consider that you want to have a bank balance of  £100,000 (or $) and so you set that as your goal and then work very hard towards getting that sum of money.  It is a struggle and you constantly deny yourself things along the way.  

Eventually you reach your goal and you have your 100,000 (£ or $) in the bank.  Over the years this aim has been your life, it is all you know, it has become who you are BUT once you get there you find that it is not enough!

A no limit person never operates from a place of deficiency or lack and they never say "I don't have enough"

In truth you are never going to get enough because quite simply - you are enough already!

So what of my friend?...........she adapted her thinking, changed her patterns and is now running a successful and profitable business working from home and is very happy with both her life and the work that she is doing.

DAve x


oooOOOooo

The (slightly) larger 2020 Workbook is now available!



To order a copy of the workbook please navigate to the Shopping Page


Business Developer / Coach Emma Kersey said this about the 2018 Workbook

"Sorry I didn't get round to fully utilizing the e-book but please know that just reading it helped massively........... just needed a push and the book did that so thank you"



ooo000ooo


About Dave   I am a personal development coach; a therapist; speaker; and  radio presenter.  A number of years ago I founded The Blue Sky Company to enable me to develop my work in more ways.  In addition I am also a therapist and my therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy, Reiki and I am working towards a Diploma in Mindfulness.

If you would like to know more about my therapy work etc, then please email me.

If you would like to join our Facebook group just follow the link below to the Under Blue Skies page. The page is home to a group of like - minded people (affectionately knows as "the tribe").

By way of a thank you for their continued support Tribe Members regularly receive exclusive content that I do not post anywhere else.  The page also provides advanced information about forthcoming projects and events.

So please spread the word about the blog, the tribe etc. to your friends and family and I hope to see you as a member of our "Tribe" soon.


Under Blue Skies
Private group · 27 members

Join Group
This group aims to concentrate primarily on Personal Change although at times there may be elements of Business Change or a cross over point somewhere...
LINKS

Website:

Wytchwynd Photography

Pinterest:

To subscribe to the blog please go over to the right hand side of this page and click the button that says “Follow”.  Once you do that you will be added to our list of subscribers.

Feel free to share this and other posts with your friends and associates

Inspirational Phrases

In addition to the above I send out a daily email containing an Inspirational Phrase. 

To ensure that we comply with the relevant regulations this is a subscription only service and to  be included please send an email using “add me” as the subject to:- 


Once you have subscribed the phrases will be delivered to your mail box every day at no cost to you whatsoever.

Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.

And above all

Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!







Finding Your Voice!

     Finding  Your  Voice Thank you for taking the time to join me here today.   I decided that this week was probably a good time (i...