Hi it’s Dave and first of all let me welcome you to the Under Blue Skies blog. I don’t know if you came here by accident, responded to something online or arrived via a search engine, but no matter which way it happened you are very welcome.
In last week’s post I spoke briefly about “letting go” of a couple of things in our lives, namely the “should feeling” and the “need to know”. So this week I have decided to explore and delve deeper into the process.
One thing
to look at more closely is our use of the word “should”.
We often
find ourselves under pressure to follow certain paths through life. You know the ones I mean, those that are set
out for us by the society in which we live, by our parents (and our grandparents)
and the media.
To quote
Tony Robbins we are often to be found “shoulding all over ourselves” and this
can be many areas of our lives, including our Mental Health, our careers and
also our relationships. We have all done
it!
The
pressure to conform to other people’s ideas is immense and this pressure is
actually holding us back from the things that we want to do or that we need to
create in our lives.
We often
hold onto things for the sake of other people or because we are worried about
what those other people might think of us.
Do you find
yourself holding on to friendships that have run their course simply because
you feel you should? Ask yourself this,
is this friendship still alive or has it simply withered into something
approaching toxic?
Have you
found that you are missing out on things because you are holding tightly to a
perfectly crafted and rigidly followed routine?
Imagine
what could be possible if you decided to break out of that routine how would
your “shoulds” like that one?
By letting
go of those routines and following your dreams your journey can lead you to
places that you would never ever visited in your former life.
I know of
people who have broken free and gone on to create amazing lives for themselves
and they have all passed similar comments, such as “at long last I have found
myself!” or “Here I am, right where I should be after all these years!”
It is said
that “the attachment to things is the root of all suffering” (Buddhist teaching
indicates as much), so ask yourself what is it that you are attached to?
Do you
believe that material things will bring you happiness? - we all do!
It could be
fabulous food, a need for a loving relationship, the desire to be loved or even
the ideas you have about yourself and who you are.
So without
becoming religious or delving into religious teaching there is a certain common
sense in some of the practices that Buddhism reveals. One of the first steps the teaching of
Buddhism and mindfulness is to “cultivate the right view”. This means to be aware of and notice how
transient worldly ideas, possessions and really ourselves actually are.
We are all
changing and fluid and often we do not notice these changes because they are so
very subtle.
So allow
your “shoulds” to move on and also the ideas that you have about yourself. Let yourself become more “me” not who you
think you “should be!”
Follow your
true path, live by your values and needs, and stay true to what is right for
you – not the pictures and ideals that society would have you aim towards!
(adapted from an article published in “Psychologies”
magazine)
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About
Dave I
am a coach; speaker; radio presenter and founder of The Blue Sky
Company. I am also a therapist and my therapy work includes
music therapy; crystal therapy and Reiki. Currently I am studying towards
a Diploma in Mindfulness
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know more about the blog or my therapy work etc, then please email me.
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Have a fantastic day, live a life of
Passion and Power.
And above all
Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!
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