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I often hear people saying things like “oh I wish I could be confident like you! You can stand up in front of a room full of people and don’t show any nerves” – little do they know!
My confidence is a learned behaviour!
It has taken me a long time to get to the point I am at now, and yet I still don’t think I am super confident. I have just learned to use the following methods to make me appear more confident.
When you start learning how to be confident, it is important that you learn how to relax as well. It is a known fact that when you are lacking confidence, you are likely to start sweating, say completely unintelligent things and much more.
There are also other people who are normally very poised who become completely clumsy, stumble over their feet, drop things and the like.
However to prevent this happening is really quite simple, you need to take a deep breath, count to 5, or do whatever else you need to do in order that you can relax.
By taking risks every so often or by putting yourself into situations where you feel less than comfortable, you can make yourself step outside of your comfort zone. This course of action often helps you become more confident when it comes to new situations that you feel unsure about.
It does not matter whether you are talking on the phone or if you are talking to someone in person, smiling is extremely important.
A person can tell whether or not you are smiling just by looking at you. It also shows in your posture and also the way your voice sounds.
Smiling is an extremely easy way to show that you are confident in what you are saying.
Before you leave your home or office, you may feel that you want to practice whatever it is that you are about to do. If you are nervous about the situation in which you find yourself practicing will help you to learn how to be confident in yourself.
If you are going for an interview then you may want to practice possible interview questions. If you are are giving a presentation you may want to practice your pitch.
By practicing what you are going to do and say, you will put yourself into a situation where you seem much more confident in yourself because you will know what some of the answers may be. Practice plus knowing your subject matter will prevent awkwardness, hesitations, and more.
Other things to practice include your handshake, your posture, and more besides. Gaining confidence is much easier when you practice possible situations that you may encounter.
Being positive can help you in many ways and it is extremely important when you are learning how to be confident. Negative thoughts are things that plague a lot of people every day of their lives and this can wreck any confidence that you have in yourself.
Thinking positively can help you gain confidence because you will believe in what you are doing and saying. That belief will then allow you to portray confidence in whatever you are doing.
So the next time you are about to do something big in your life or career, think about why you deserve it, the skills and/or talents that you have, why you are the perfect fit, and so on.
Learn from the best how to be confident.
Is there someone out there who is doing exactly what you want to be doing?
It might be public speaking, they may be doing a job that you want in the future, or they may just be showing confidence in things that they do.
Whatever it is they are doing that you want to learn, it will probably help you if your look for someone to become your mentor so that you can learn their best tips. By learning their tips and how they do things, you cannot help but feel more confident in what you are doing.
Look the part.
Looking the part can go a long way when you are learning how to become more confident. It is true that it will help you to appear more confident even if you are just faking it and dressing the part can also go a long way to help you believe in yourself as well.
There are people I know who feel extremely confident when they put on their best suit, when they wear high heels with a smart dress, when they wear their best professional outfit, and many more things besides.
Gaining confidence by looking the part might means that you adopt most if not all of the following points:
Having a firm handshake;
Standing/sitting up straight;
Smiling (covered more below)
So in conclusion – the only way to get confident in a situation is to be prepared, to be practiced and also relaxed.
As the founder of The Blue Sky Company I am dedicated to building a business that:-
“Inspires and Empowers people to create Lasting change”
I am a Personal Development coach; speaker; radio presenter; therapist and co-owner of a virtual light centre called The Crystal Spring .
My therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy and Reiki (Master / Teacher).
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