Inconvenient Truths

Let us imagine that you are suddenly woken at 3am. by the apparent sound of someone breaking into your home. Are you going to roll over and fall back to sleep until you receive absolute “proof” of a break-in or are you going to react to the information at hand no matter how limited it might be?

Whilst the answer might be obvious, the question is so simple it’s often dismissed as silly. I am not talking about confronting the potential intruder, but simply acknowledging his or her presence instead of demanding more proof before rousting yourself from bed. 

Of course you would acknowledge the potential break-in. Then you would start to react accordingly.

Now sometimes there are points in our lives when we need to hear words that have often been described as “inconvenient truths”.  These statements are often things that we do not want to hear, things that other people see that we are oblivious too.

Once we hear these truths we are being presented with a gift.  This gift is something that is otherwise known as “Choice”. 

When and if we choose to accept the gift it can often prove to be a catalyst!  That catalyst can help move us forward because of the choices we make.  However, we can also make choices that keep us exactly where we are, and as such we are potentially rejecting the proffered gift.

When we come from the place that is inhabited by ego we often do things believing that we are working for “the greater good” whereas we actually just “puffing out our chest” and sending out signals that are either giving wrong information about how we are, or we are actually giving out totally mixed up messages in the mistaken belief that they all form part of the way forwards.

How we react when we hear these inconvenient truths is largely dependant upon timing!  We have to be ready to listen before they become effective.  All too often words can fall on “deaf ears” and they simply miss the mark.  The speaker is not heard and may simply just shrug their shoulders, turn on their heels and walk away.

But, every so often the words hit their target and get through to us.   Something said or maybe even unsaid triggers a reaction and causes us (the subject person) to stop dead in our tracks and think.  We take stock of the situation as it actually is and not how we think it is.

Fairly recently I ended up in that very position! 

I was merrily following my path, very happy with all the ongoing changes that were taking place in my life and then (at the time of writing) I fell into the clutches of deep despair.  Several people I cared about had been smitten with cancer and within 5 days of being diagnosed one of them had died.

So there it was Monday afternoon and I was feeling pretty shit and then I came across an email that had been written to me on the previous Friday.  The message it contained totally messed with my head.  I had been accused of being fragmented, a self - obsessed hypocrite, a giver of mixed messages, someone who was unsure of their identity and quite a lot more that could not have hurt more if the person had repeatedly stuck a knife into my back, sides and stomach.  The person concerned was, a friend and someone who knew some of my deepest secrets so imagine the horror I felt with all this venom leaping out at me from the page that I was reading.

I was still reeling from the attack some 2 hours later, but deep inside me something was coming to life.  It was as if I had needed to see those words because they brought with them a realisation that some of her words contained elements of truth.

So instead of allowing anger to spread and fester further I resolved that there were going to be some changes starting with the removal of several of my floating email addresses.  

Now there is a school of thought that says “it is not ok to be angry” and that we should seek to find the good in everything, however there is a new kid on the block…….. and that kid is saying

“Hey man! Feeling anger is ok because it is a normal human emotion, we are not saints.  Simply acknowledge that it is there and that we are feeling the emotion, see it for what it is and just allow it to drift away”

Over time I have found plenty of evidence to support this way of thinking and I have accepted that it is now ok for me to get angry providing I don’t live there

My current thinking is illustrated perfectly by the following quote from Coach and Personal Development guru Wayne Dyers in which he said

“Whatever you think of me is no business of mine!”

Since taking that on board and living with it, I have further developed it into the follow up comment by Mr Dyer

“I like approval, I might want approval BUT I don’t need approval”

So I hope that this article has helped you my dear readers and if it has raised any questions please leave a comment in the box of drop me an email to the address further down the page.

ooo000ooo

About Dave   I am a coach; speaker; radio presenter and founder of The Blue Sky Company.  I am also a therapist and co-owner of a virtual light centre called The Crystal Spring.  My therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy and I recently qualified as a Reiki Master / Teacher and I am currently studying a Colour Therapy course,

If you would like to know more about the blog or my therapy work etc, then please email underblueskies@zoho.com

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