|Photo by Cristian Newman on Unsplash|
In today’s high pressure, socially complex world there are times when even the most adept of us can find ourselves charging headlong into situations that hold the potential to have a negative effect on us. If we do find ourselves at that point it is time to say STOP!
TAKE A BREATH!
Take a pause and breathe for 5 seconds – take a few seconds to analyse a situation and then decide if or how the situation requires a negative response. Having this short pause can help you avoid saying something that you might really regret at a later date or if you have to say something you will be able to express your thoughts in ways that can be positive, beneficial and avoid negativity.
WRITE YOUR FRUSTRATIONS ON PAPER
Using the written word to express your feelings can have an extremely therapeutic effect because it gets the negativity out of your mind and it also can stop you having to complain to someone (they might not give you the best of replies). Once you have written down all of the current frustrations – and you will know what that point has been reached – all you have to do is tear the paper up into small pieces and throw them all away.
What an excellent way to help you focus the mind – what do you have to be grateful for? For example if the bath water is not to the temperature that you like (maybe because someone had a bath earlier) then be grateful that at least you have a bath that you can relax in.
If you feel like complaining about the size of your bedroom, stop and think that there are many people who would love to have a roof over their heads, or if you are tempted to complain that someone in a restaurant or café made you coffee too weak – think on being grateful that you are able to go to and have the cup of coffee in the first place.
WHAT CAUSES YOUR NEGATIVITY?
Pay particular attention to times when you notice the negative thoughts arising and take notes – where are you, who are you with, what are you doing. Writing these things down will help you become more aware and take the actions necessary to prepare for or withdraw yourself from such situations.
Once you know what triggers your negativity then you can take action to remain positive and steps to avoid the situation.
It may be that being around certain people + places trigger these feelings of “doom and gloom” and here it is time to get real and take action, accept the fact that this is the case and take steps to remove yourself from the place or their company permanently.
But you may find that it might just be going to certain places with these people and then you can take steps to avoid going to those places (with them) .
You may also find that refusal to accompany them can cause the friendship to break down but you have to do what is necessary to protect yourself by doing what is right for you.
One other reason for the negative vibes in your life can be SOCIAL MEDIA. Now I am not attacking the use of social media because I use it often for my blogs, my instagram etc. etc.
I am often astounded by the amount of negativity that exists in those pixel powered “global village hang outs” and it is oh so easy to be consumed by it all. It takes lots of reserve to avoid taking actions that will mean “adding your two penneth” into the pot and before your realise it you have joined forces with the negativity troops.
So just to be clear I am NOT advocating a total removal from Social Media, but what I am saying is use it very carefully because it is very easy to be drawn into the web of negativity.
Over the years I have found that certain books can bring about negative states and should you discover one that upsets you or leaves you feeling down and depressed or does not serve a purpose, then get rid of it from your life.
So in closing the points I want to make are these:-
Negativity is hard to keep out of our lives but if we keep practicing we can make it less of a struggle and as you do you will notice that you are become happier, and may be a bit healthier as well.
So in conclusion let me repeat an age old phrase that my grandma used to say to me “back in the day”
She would say
“Dave, if it does not make you happy – just get rid of it!”
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About Dave I am a coach; speaker; radio presenter and founder of The Blue Sky Company. I am also a therapist and owner of a virtual light centre called Rainbow Bridge. My therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy and I am qualified as a Reiki Master / Teacher and currently studying a Colour Therapy course,
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