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| Photo by Monika Rams on Unsplash |
Several weeks ago I stumbled
upon a quiz that was designed to help people find out things that they were
really afraid of, whether fear was holding them back and keeping them stuck in
their comfort zone.
So here is my version of
that quiz containing the 10 questions that are designed to help you find out
what is keeping you stuck there.
You feel your bravest when:
a. you are helping someone else
b.
you
are doing things you know you are good at.
c. you
know that you have support
d.
you
have no choice and have to
When you think about your past, you fret about:
a. letting people down or upsetting them
b. a time (or times) when you messed things up
c. appearing stupid / being awkward
d.
if
you really made the right decisions
You secretly admire people who:
a. don’t worry about what other people think
b. simply get on with stuff
c. have lots of self confidence
d. Instantly
make decisions
Which of the daily events stress you or create
anxiety:
a. something that might cause disapproval from
somebody else
b. something you don’t feel you can do well
enough
c. things drawing attention to you
d. things that involve making a choice
You would find it easier to make big changes if:
a.
you would not
upset anyone
b. you could trust that it would work out ok
c. you had more confidence in yourself
d. you could
decide what to do first
Having more confidence would most impact your:
a.
personal
relationships
b.
personal growth
c. social life
d. peace of mind
You were asked to make a speech at a party. When it
is done you wonder:
a. was my friend happy about what I said
b. did the guests think it was good enough
c. if people could tell I was nervous
d. why did I agree to do it
If there is an important decision to make do you:
a ask everyone you speak to for their opinion
b overthink all possible outcomes
c struggle with self doubt
d live in a state of high anxiety
A good friend suggests that you leave your jobs and
go travelling. What would hold you back
the most:
a telling
people – family, friends, boss
b. not having enough time to plan
c not being confident about meeting new
people
d if you will regret giving up your job
You would probably do something outside of your
comfort zone if:
a. you would
be letting people down if you didn’t do it
b. it would
be important for your career
c. nobody knew you were doing it
d.
you know it is the right thing
//////////////////////
Now read below to find out more:-
If your answers were mostly “a”
your being stuck mostly comes from a
“Fear of Disapproval”
If you are conscientious you
are usually more likely to put other people’s needs before your own. You are always there to help people get their
plans “off the ground” at the expense of your own projects.
However, do you really want
to do everything that you say “yes” to because the price you will often pay is
one of resentment and feeling down. It
is possible that you grew up with expectations of “being good”, and having to
follow the rules.
It is fantastic to be
compassionate and supportive but always having other people as your focus can
be detrimental to your own needs and growth.
You most likely hear a voice in your head commenting that there “must be
more to life than this” and it is definitely time to listen to what it is
saying.
It is time to prioritise
yourself, to dream, to experiment and maybe mess up! You have put a lot of energy into seeking
approval, just imagine what you could achieve if you put that energy into your
own plans or passions.
If your answers were mostly “b”
your being stuck mostly comes from a
“Fear of Failure”
It is very hard to admit
that a fear of failure is holding you back and it is very easy for you to
expound about why it is not the right time to make your dreams a reality and
put your plans into action.
Do you have a voice in your
head telling you that you cannot cope with the challenges you fact or that you
will just make a mess of them.
Procrastination is not
always due to laziness! You may feel
that everything has to be perfect and thus become a victim of over - preparing
things and you could be thinking that everything has to be perfect. However, if we always play things safe, we
may miss an opportunity to prove to ourselves that we won’t fail or that if we
do, we have the ability to cope with whatever happens.
Making mistakes is part of
growth, so a tip would be to break things down into baby steps and instead of
having to get it right treat it as an experiment and adopt an air of curiosity.
If your answers were mostly “c”
your being stuck most comes from a
“Fear of Social Exposure”
People in this category are
often to be found worrying about the thoughts of other people, and as a result
of this they remain behind their comfort barrier and exhibit a lack of
bravery. Social Anxiety often goes hand
in hand with being extremely self - critical.
It is probable that you will
focus on your faults and you could find yourself thinking that other people are
spending their time focussing on your faults as well and that they are simply
waiting for the time when you mess up.
However, other people may be so focussed on their own issues that they
are not able to be critical of yours.
It is likely that if you are
in this category you will be torn between the need for security of routine and
the craving for excitement. It can be useful
to work with a friend or as part of a team because that will help you to break
down that barriers between you and the rest of the world. It can also help your to start to consider
the people who can benefit from the changes you want to make.
If your answers were mostly “d”
your being stuck mostly comes from a
“Fear of Decision Making”
There is an issue with
decision making because you consider all the things that could go wrong and it
is because of this you probably feel paralysed.
You are envious of people who can make quick decisions and appear to
care little for the consequences. In
your mind the thought of a bad decision creates fear.
You might be one of those people
who wear the same clothes, eat the same food, stay in a job or relationship you have outgrown. You often think about the past decisions you
made (especially the “wrong” ones) and that is why you believe that you are no
good at decision making.
You could ask a friend to
work with you to create mind maps of your choices, you could work with
visualisation and imagine all the details of how making a good decision can
boost you confidence.
Create deadlines for
decision making and remember that sometimes that is not a “right” decision, sometimes
you need to act and enjoy what the adventure brings.
(this post is adapted from an article that appeared in Psychologies
Magazine 2019)
oooOOOooo
My 28 page 2019 Workbook containing lots of Personal Development tools is about to be retired and will soon be replaced by the (slightly) larger 2020 Workbook.
oooOOOooo
The final copy of this book is
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The cost is £12 + shipping (payable via PayPal).
To order a copy please contact me.
Business Developer / Coach Emma Kersey said this about the 2018 Workbook
"Sorry I didn't get round to fully utilizing the e-book but please know that just reading it helped massively........... just needed a push and the book did that so thank you"
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About Dave I am a coach; speaker; radio presenter and founder of The Blue Sky Company. I am also a therapist and my therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy and Reiki. Currently I am studying towards a Diploma in Mindfulness
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