Assertiveness
Hi and thank you for being here, I apologise for have been away from your screens but a close family member (my father) passed away and so out of respect I removed myself from posting on my blog. But now I am back because life has to go on.....and what better way to start back than with a post about assertiveness.
Here are a few tips that I wish I had learned earlier in my life,
When you make a stand for your rights in a way that is not contradictory or a violation of other peoples rights
This is called being assertive and here are a few things that you can try in order to boost your assertiveness.1 they are your ideas, your feelings your views own them and to get your point across say something along the lines of “this is how I see the situation......”
2 be clear on what you want by saying “I would prefer......”
3 Focus on facts and possibly use observations (not opinions) of behaviour by saying “ when I saw you do......”
4 make the distinction between opinion and fact saying something along the lines of “ in my view......”
5 be clear “ I have no preference about what we do......”
6 using open questions invite other people to present their views
7 work to focus on what can be done by using A statement such as this....... “ I know it’s difficult but we can take it into consideration........
Follow a practice of "I win / you win" and by doing so you are making a statement to the world (and to the other party) that your rights are just as important as those of other people.
Do not get involved in I win you lose situations because this view assumes that we live in a hostile place and that the best way to survive is to be stronger. Adopting the policy of strike first because the best form of defence is attack.
Avoid I lose you win situations because this assumes that your needs are not as important as those of others.
Finally it can be hard to stand up for yourself but you can learn to be a stronger person.
About Dave I am a personal development coach; a therapist; speaker; and radio presenter. A number of years ago I founded The Blue Sky Company to enable me to develop my work in more ways. In addition I am also a therapist and that work includes music therapy; crystal therapy; Reiki and I will soon be offering an introduction to Mindfulness.
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