Wednesday, 26 April 2017

The Fires Of Self Esteem

Hi it’s Dave,

Greetings from Ilfracombe and welcome to the Under Blue Skies blog.  I am very excited with how everything is progressing. I find that sharing these pages with everyone goes a long way towards stimulating me to keep writing them.

So welcome to

The Fires Of Self Esteem

Recently I have been looking at the quality of self esteem and asking what is it and where does it come from?

I have now reached something of a conclusion:- self esteem has two facets, one  negative and one positive.  These two different sides can be likened to having two fires burning inside you and if you ask people which fire they would like to burn the brightest the majority would answer, without hesitation, the positive one!

When the answer has been given it opens the door to the next question

What three things does a fire need to be able to burn? 

Anyone who has completed even basic fire training will know that the elements required for a fire to burn are fuel, oxygen and a source of ignition, however the only part of this we need here is “fuel”

In order to make the positive self esteem fire burn the brighter of the two fires we need to provide it with the fuel of positive decision making.  How many positive decisions have you taken today?
These are all that is required to make the positive self esteem fire burn the brightest.  The more positive things you do the brighter the fire will burn and the better you will feel.

However, as I said earlier, there are 2 fires inside all of us.  The first of these is the fire of positive self esteem and the second represents negative self esteem.  The principle of the triangle of elements applies equally to negative self esteem. If you carry out a negative act or behave in a negative way, the negative self esteem fire will begin to burn brighter.

Both fires want more fuel and neither of them wants to be extinguished and die. 

Therefore, it stands to reason that to keep the positive self esteem fire burning brighter and hotter the more we need to take positive action and do lots of positive things.

If you start feeling that something is not right for you or you are tempted to do something negative, it is likely that you negative self esteem fire is trying to get more fuel.  There are those who are “auditory people” that would liken this to a voice saying “Don't forget about me, I need fuel too”. This is the time when we really need to watch what we are doing because if we are not careful we will slip backwards and as a result of this slip we will probably do something to get that negative fire burning brightly again.

As part of my research I was talking this theory through with a client and during that conversation she asked me this question – “Can the negative fire ever go out?”  My answer was that nobody can definitely say that it does but if you keep doing the positive things and making the positive fire burn very strong and really hot it keeps getting easier to make positive choices in your life and that way of thinking becomes a habit.

Remember! You are the only person who can add fuel to your self esteem fires, nobody else can feed them because they are fed by the actions that you take.

Make it a habit to ask yourself regularly which fire you are feeding by this action.

If you stop feeding the negative fire it will die down and although it may never go out completely you will have it under control and the benefits of a positive life will be yours for ever!

So as we reach the end of this week’s post I would like to thank you sincerely for taking the time to read the words.  I hope that you will find them useful as you move forwards in your daily life.

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About Dave I am a coach; speaker; radio presenter and founder of The Blue Sky Company.  I am also a therapist and co-own a virtual light centre called The Crystal Spring.  My therapy work includes music therapy; reiki; crystal therapy


I have recently discovered that a book written by a friend of mine is available via Amazon so I would like to share a link to that book with you.  This lady is an amazing person and I am sure that if you have enjoyed reading my blog you will also find her work of interest.  Click on the picture to buy The Fearless Life Guide.

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Have a fantastic day, live a life of Passion and Power.

And above all

Don't Predict The Future - CREATE IT!

DAve x

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