Wednesday, 6 May 2020

Let Things Roll Off Your Back


This post is about having the strength to let things go

Hi and thank you for joining me on this week's blog post.

I can tell you with 100% certainty that I have often been guilty of holding on to things when everything around me is screaming "Let It Go!"  To be totally honest with you this is a very personal matter and it is important to feel secure enough in your skin to have the confidence to allow it to happen.

I feel sure that you will understand the sort of thing I mean - the sort of "Off The Cuff" remarks that people have a tendency to make, probably without the slightest intention of hurting you, but all the same the remarks are like a poisoned barb that goes in deep and hurts like hell!

Such remarks can and often do have a profound personal effect.

I know people who ooze confidence but they have been deeply wounded by a remark that was made so long ago that the original intention behind the comment has long been forgotten.

It is a trait of human nature to hold onto such things way past their "sell by date".  Goodness only knows why we do it, but all too often we really don't know why!

This holding on to things does not serve any useful purpose UNLESS we put it to good use by using it as a tool for learning, development and / or growth

Here is an example of a painful experience teaching a valuable lesson

If you were to put your finger into a gas flame on a stove you would most likely find it painful (you get burned), however next time you go toward the cooker your mind remembers the previous experience and you recall that if you put your finger into the flame it will hurt you.  So you don't do it!

BUT there are people all around us who do not learn the lessons that they are given by their experiences, they will keep returning and replaying the scenario over and over, all the time expecting a different outcome each time they put their finger into the flame.

So maybe now is the time to ask yourself a question - why do I do it when I know it is going to hurt me?

Now let us go back to the beginning and transfer this lesson to something that has been said by a friend, an acquaintance, ,maybe it is a time when you felt really hurt, or it could be some action that they have taken - realise that this was an important lesson - learn it - then let the event go, don't hold a grudge but use it as an aide to help you avoid making the same mistake again.

You could explain to the person concerned (if it was that sort of situation) that you were really hurt by what they did or said and that you are not prepared to allow that sort of situation to happen again.

Then you can let it go and if that costs a friendship which is better?

To carry on risking pain and hurt or to simple just drop it, walk away and get on with your life.

I have a very good friend who had one or two painful experiences with so called friends.  The events concerned took place many many years ago, but has she learned the lessons and let them go....

OH NO!  She is still walking around harbouring grudges about these events that should have faded into the background.... and as a result of that she is prevented (by her own mind) from moving on with her life.

So Please don't be like her - LET IT GO because LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO LET YOUR PAST HOLD YOU BACK.


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About Dave   I am a coach; speaker; radio presenter and founder of The Blue Sky Company.  I am also a therapist and my therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy and Reiki.  Currently I am studying towards a Diploma in Mindfulness

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