Thursday, 5 January 2017

What Are Emotions?

Hi everyone and I hope that you have all recovered from the (potential) excesses of the Yule / Christmas / New Year period.

So I thought that I would start 2017 with a repost of something that I put on my old (long retired) coaching blog.  The post is called "What Are Emotions" and this may possibly resonate with my female friends although it does not only apply to women.

I had intended to revive the old blog post but sadly that was not "doable" so I decided it would be simpler to amend the old post and then maybe add all the coaching posts at some future point.

So here is the earlier article

What Are Emotions?

Emotions are a call to action! 

It is often said that emotions can be positive or negative. 

Positive emotions help you to feel good about yourself and your life, whereas, negative emotions have a tendency to create doubts, worry, fear, discomfort etc.

We can sum up negative emotions in the following way, “they are pointers to change” or  as a teacher of mine once said - Emotional Signposts

Here I would like to ask you a question and I would like you to answer truthfully

How do you deal with your negative emotions at present?

Your answer will probably fall into one of the following categories

a)         avoidance
b)         endurance or denial
c)         competition
d)         learn and utilise

After saying that I feel it necessary to say something that I know a lot of people who are watching this video will find difficult to believe -

“You ARE 100% responsible for your reaction to your circumstances (your emotions!)” 

Nothing at any time MAKES you feel anything. 

How you feel is the result of the meaning that you attach to a situation, the logical conclusion to this is that there are no such things as negative emotions.  There are simply emotions - positive or negative labels are simply down to your interpretation of the events that have brought about the emotion .

So let us take a moment to try a short exercise

I want you to imagine something specific that you would like to own

Now I want you to spend a few moments hoping that you will get it.

How does it feel?
How are you standing?
How are you breathing?

Now take a few moments being absolutely certain that you are going get it (whatever it is) –
How does that feel?
How are you standing?
How are you breathing?

Now compare those two sets of feelings – is the way you felt when you were hoping very much different from how you felt when you were certain that it was going to happen?

I'll bet it is!

So now let us think about the process that you went through – does the actual thing exist? 

No!  It does not exist right here and right now and yet I know that the feelings in you were as genuine as if you were experiencing this expectation for real.

This experiment has just proven that you don't need the actual thing to make you feel the emotion and that you can change your feelings and emotions at will. (from hope to certainty in an instant)

Earlier we concluded that Negative Emotions are pointers to change (Emotional Signposts).

For example the emotion of Fear = get prepared, cope with or deal with.

6 steps to help you deal with these emotions when they arise -

            1          Identify the emotion
            2          Appreciate the message (see below, The Action Signals)
            3          How can you use it
            4          Feel reassured
            5          See release as a tool of empowerment
            6          Take action to improve the situation

10 basic messages of change (The Action Signals)

            1          Uncomfortable – boredom, impatience
            2          Fear – worry, apprehension
            3          Hurt – loss
            4          Anger – irritated, annoyed
            5          Frustration – held back
            6          Disappointment
            7          Guilt – regret
            8          Inadequacy – less than perfect
            9          Overloaded – hopeless, depressed, more than you can deal with
            10        Loneliness

The Mastery Steps

The following steps are designed to help you take control of your emotional situation

1 -        Identify the signal then

            a) change your state  b) clarify what you want  c) take action in that direction

            Change your perception or your procedure.

2 -        Appreciate the message

3 -        Get Curious – how do you want to feel.  What would you need to believe to feel this way
What would you be willing to do to handle this emotion.  What can you learn from this.

4 -        Get Confident – remember when you have felt this before and got over it.  What did you do?

5 -        Get Certain – identify 3 or 4 ways of dealing with the emotion

6 -        Get ExcitedTake MASSIVE Action. - Kill the monster while it is little!!!

And finally ….....

Here are 10 emotions to cultivate seeds of greatness, to make life work.

1          Love and warmth

2          Appreciation and Gratitude

3          Curiosity (wonder)

4          Excitement and Passion

5          Determination

6          Flexibility

7          Confidence

8          Cheerfulness

9          Health

10        Contribution

I hope that in some way the points raised in this post on Emotions have helped you to understand that they are your responsibility and belong to no-one else.

Remember – there is not one person alive today who can make you feel anything (despite what you may believe) you are responsible for EACH and EVERY feeling you experience.

If you have found this piece interesting I would love to get some feedback from you so please leave a comment in the box.

It would be great if you would click the follow button over there on the right of the page and that way you won't miss out on anything.

You can also take a look at my coaching website (still under construction) at

and recently I have created a presence on Pinterest 

So now in closing let me wish you the best things that life can give -

Live a life of Power and Purpose and remember

Don't Predict the Future – CREATE IT!


PS if you would like to receive a new Inspirational Phrase delivered free of charge to your mailbox every day please send your email address to and quote "add me" in the subject line

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