(Image courtesy of http://pdpics.com)
Hi and thank you for joining me again on my blog. Today I am going to talk about the time of my life which has been the most difficult to deal with.
The reason I decided to write this was because in my work as a coach / therapist I have needed to be completely honest with myself otherwise how could I possibly expect a client to be honest with me.
That need for honesty is something that I could not have addressed some 10 or 12 years ago but now, although there is still some pain attached, it no longer presents a barrier.
The Story Begins......
Alison and were living in Bristol at the time and we both had full time jobs and were renting a modern but, even by today’s standards, very expensive flat. Financially, it was a bit of a struggle to keep it going but we were managing.
We got married in the September of 1974 and although I had been made redundant just before the wedding I eventually managed to find another (and better) job and we settled into a life that we were happy with.
Financially it was “easier” but no way were we comfortable and all was going swimmingly until Alison discovered that she was expecting our first child.
Well that was it – my head exploded!!!!!
I was too young to be a dad, we were not in a great position financially, I could not see how we were going to cope but with all the pressures that this news put on us financially, by the time we got to the summer months the strain was beginning to tell and the bills were starting to pile up.
At this time I knew nothing about Financial Advisers, I knew nobody that I could talk to about my ailing financial situation, I could see no way out of this hole that was getting deeper and deeper every week.
Eventually the crushing pain of the ever increasing debt was just too much to bear and I began to plan how I was going to escape.
Writing these words now makes me feel ashamed and remorseful about what I did but I simply had no idea at that time of what I could do to ease the pain, least of all make it go away.
My solution was to pack up a bag, get my tent and my guitar together and a few of the “rare” records that I had, get in my car and head off into the sun.
I had no idea where I was going or what was going to happen……..I phoned work and told them that I was not well and would not be in for the rest of the week. I then sold the records and with the proceeds put some fuel in the car and made my way to a place called Yatton in
I sat outside the Post Office in the midday sunshine and cried, cried some more and then cried again.
This situation was not at all what I wanted but in my head at that time it was the best thing I could do for both Alison and the unborn baby.
I bought a pen, a writing pad and some envelopes and wrote the hardest letter I have ever had to write in my life. Trying to explain my actions and how I believed it was for the best.
I folded the tear stained paper and put it into the envelope and posted it. I then made my way to another place called Worle, and pitched my tent on a campsite near the motorway junction.
I feasted on Baked Beans and made my way to the pub I had played in several times before that year. The resident guitarist asked me if I would be able to stand in for him the next night as he had another booking. I agreed to do the gig for £15 which was a fortune to me at that time.
I then went back to the tent and cried myself to sleep……..
The following morning I woke early and breakfasted on the remaining cold beans from yesterday’s dinner.
I made my way into Weston Super Mare and spent the day walking between a coffee shop, the shops and the beach. I managed to buy a quarter of luncheon meat (113g) for my dinner.
Then I repeated the morning’s walk round however this time I went in the opposite direction.
Finally it was back to the tent, wash, change, pick up my guitar and head off to the pub for my evening gig. All was going well until I was about half way through the first part and mid song the door opened and standing there, framed in the evening sunlight, was my uncle.
He just walked straight over to me, I stopped playing and burst into tears again. He told me to pack my gear up as he was taking me home.
Through the tears I made my excuses while
was talking to the landlord and when we were ready my Dad had arrived I cannot remember how we got the mini and
the tent home but we did. Bryan
When we got back to the flat, the whole family was gathered and it was a very tearful reunion
Between everyone they managed to help us sort out our financial situation with the exception of the rent on the flat, it was agreed that we would leave the property peacefully and we said farewell to
moved back to
and lived temporarily with my parents until we got somewhere new to live. Cheshire
So, all in all, a very hard time and one that left an awful lot of scars.
However, we are now able to confront it and are well beyond it. We are living in Devon and have thoroughly enjoyed the past 22 years in the same house. We are surrounded by family and friends and although we still have a few desires to move on somewhere else, we are settled and happy.
About Dave I am a coach; speaker; radio presenter and founder of The Blue Sky Company. I am also a therapist and co-own a virtual light centre called The Crystal Spring. My therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy and I recently qualified as a Reiki Master / Teacher and I am currently studying a Colour Therapy course,
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