Wednesday, 16 September 2020

A "should" and "ought" person!!

Hi everyone


A "Should" and "Ought"                   Person

I have been doing a great deal of soul-searching recently and one of the things that I have been wrestling with is my business name.  When I started coaching a few years ago I called the business


Altered Image (Life Coaching) 

and in all fairness it was a good choice that alluded to what I was about. I built my client list and soon enjoyed plenty of repeat business

However, I ignored my own evidence, changed the business name to The Blue Sky Company and did a big re-brand.  I also branded this blog etc. as Under Blue Skies.  My thinking was that the coaching services would be provided using The Blue Sky Company name and the blog and daily output would carry the Under Blue Skies brand.

Recently, I have been wondering whether the name change did me more harm than good because the coaching work has steadily decreased to just a handful of clients and whilst I am still offering a range of services, the phone is not ringing.  Under Blue Skies provides a lot of "free" content (which to be honest takes a lot of curating), which in turn takes a lot of time.  I have also wondered if the current economic climate is contributing to the situation.

So recently I have taken a long hard look at myself and quite honestly what I saw upset me. I have been displaying a similar trait to that of people I have coached in the past - I have begun to use what I call "advisory words" such as "I should do some research for the next post" or "I ought to read a new book"

Now I know as fact that in most cases the "shoulds" and the "oughts" will NEVER get done because there is no compulsion behind them.  Thus I have taken a leaf from my own book and those words are to be banned because I know that to allow me to move forwards the "shoulds" and "oughts" have to be replaced by "MUSTS"

Once someone has a "must do" in their life they have set the scene for progress and movement. I must be honest and say that I have spent many hours coaching people around Goals and Goal Setting because I believe in the "practice what you preach" maxim.  I have, in the past, followed the paths to my own goals in small manageable steps but I was still guilty of using the shoulds and oughts sometimes.

Sadly I had discovered that it was much easier to "should all over the place" than it was to grab things and do them by making the "musts".

So I had let things slide.............. 

I took my eye off the ball and started to follow the easy option.  I created what was predominantly free content - it meant that I didn't have to think too hard.  I could simply trot out a couple of daily posts on one or two topics and then believe that it was a case of "job done" - and thus my coaching need had been supplied.

However, I must add a cautionary note here - be very careful how and when you use the word "must" especially if you are talking to other people because it can be a stepping stone towards disaster.  

Example - if you are talking to someone and use the words "you must..." I would go as far as to say that you are 90% guaranteed to annoy the other person.  More than likely they will become hostile and angry towards you.  It is far better to use the words "if it were me I would......." which I refer to as the method of "Me I" communication.

So my advice is as follows:- Don't be fooled by "shoulds" and "oughts" they will make you feel happy because they are the keys to procrastination and to being ineffective!

If progress is your goal then it has to be a "MUST"

Oh and the business name decision?   Altered Image Coaching.


As a result of the above the coming weeks will see the coaching reverting to the Altered Image branding and there will be some quite major reworking on my internet presence.


                                                              oooOOOooo

The (slightly) larger 2020 Workbook is now available!



To order a copy of the workbook please navigate to the Shopping Page


Business Developer / Coach Emma Kersey said this about the 2018 Workbook

"Sorry I didn't get round to fully utilizing the e-book but please know that just reading it helped massively........... just needed a push and the book did that so thank you"



ooo000ooo


About Dave   I am a personal development coach; a therapist; speaker; and  radio presenter.  A number of years ago I founded The Blue Sky Company to enable me to develop my work in more ways.  In addition I am also a therapist and my therapy work includes music therapy; crystal therapy; Reiki and Mindfulness (I am working towards a Diploma in Mindfulness).

So If you would like to know more about my therapy work etc, then please email me.

If you would like to join our Facebook group just follow the link below to the Under Blue Skies page. The page is home to a group of like - minded people (affectionately knows as "the tribe").

By way of a thank you for their continued support Tribe Members regularly receive exclusive content that I do not post anywhere else.  The page also provides advanced information about forthcoming projects and events.

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